I'm not sure why you keep deleting my reviews for flashes. I keep them appropriate as possible. Yes, I throw some crude humor in there but if the artist's work is crude humor I should be allowed to take a stab at it in turn. While I'm on that subject, I don't see what was wrong with THIS review I posted either. He made it seem like his flash was about Obama and how he was a bad president. I was simply saying how it was a misleading concept but the fact it got my attention because of that idea still gave him a point.

Other reviews you've deleted for no good reason other than being an asshole tick me off too. There was one review where the animation was titled "Anime is Stupid". I watched it hoping to see a credible argument of some kind stating why the person thought anime was stupid. Honestly, I watched it for over a minute and I couldn't begin to tell you what the fuck the animation was about. I promptly replied with a joking review title "YOU are stupid" and it gets deleted not realizing I was doing satire.

I think you've just got a thing against my writing style and I hope you stop doing this deleting of reviews that are well written and well placed. I guess part of the reason they get deleted is because other people disagree with the reviews and vote them down, but I still don't see why that should be grounds for deletion. That's like saying that if everyone hated what one guy said about Legend of Zelda then that guy's comments should be stricken from the record. I think Zelda is stupid but everyone and their dog would disagree and cast stones at me for saying such things. It doesn't mean I'm wrong. It may not mean I'm right. Reviews are opinions and if the artists can't handle harsh critics they don't deserve to live (or at least be artists) because they can't handle the harshness of life.

That being said, please stop deleting good and satirical reviews because I find it rude and counterproductive. Thank you.

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At 7/28/09 6:10 AM, M-Bot wrote:
: This message is to inform you that the following review, which you left for fuck obama fuck obama fuc on 3/22/09 at 11:19:48 PM, has been deleted:
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: ===============
: Score: 1 / 10
: Summary: Sigh...
: Review: I saw the title and I had hope that someone else realized how bad Obama really is. Then I saw the video and realized that you were just really making a commercial for... something else... I stopped caring after about a minute. I give you ONE point simply for saying "Fuck Obama" because I hope he doesn't get a second term. Anyone who says he is a GOOD president is an idiot. Anyone who says he's a bad president is at least paying attention to what he does. Nuff said.
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:
: Please review the review guidelines in the FAQ to ensure that you're following the rules and to prevent any further action being taken against other reviews you make.

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This message is to inform you that the following review, which you left for Scribbs&NonzopSpringBreak on 4/13/09 at 9:21:35 PM, has been deleted:

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Score: 0 / 10
Summary: Lame
Review: You'll probably say my review is useless and then reply with some smartass comment on how I'm wrong, but I just thought it was really stupid. I don't get what half of that stuff was even there for (i.e. the fish). So, yeah, this sucked.
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Please review the review guidelines in the FAQ to ensure that you're following the rules and to prevent any further action being taken against other reviews you make.

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his message is to inform you that the following review, which you left for Nintendo Hentai Porn XXX on 4/19/09 at 10:53:50 PM, has been deleted:

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Score: 0 / 10
Summary: Please stop.
Review: I wouldn't even put this on Youtube, it's that dumb. Why bother wasting time and space with this garbage when you could probably be doing something more productive, like getting a job that will pay you something for doing adequate work at something. You can stop wasting your time with this and stop wasting our time with this. To put it bluntly, STFU and DIE!!!
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Also, spam this guy (LoZackMajoraMask) because he is an asshole who I got into an argument with because I said the Zelda comment somewhere and he wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. He simply insulted me without arguing back in a constructive manner or showing any intelligence whatsoever. I simple said I dislike Legend of Zelda and he flips out on me like I insulted Jesus Fucking Christ. I wouldn't hate him so much if he tried to be reasonable and make a point as to why my opinion was wrong. He just kept insulting me and I feel he deserves just punishment for it because he, like most of the scum on earth called the humans, is an asshole. That being said, have a good day!

Fluffy here again, filling in for Silver. Apparently, he says things are... going places. I'm not sure what the f*ck that means, but let's all just roll with it, okay? Today, DExM and I continue this trend of taking the Rant task on by ourselves. I got two movie reviews that cover the shit of Harry Potter and the crazy shining diamond that is Fight Club. Meanwhile, there are some freaks making protests on Capitol Hill and ...

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This is DExM. The following may be old news to some, but new to others. For a while now, we've had a growing number in the demographic titled "Non-Religious". In fact, if you believe the movie Religilous, it is the biggest "minority" group in the country. I put minority in quotes because I am one of those people who thinks in terms of a race being a minority but I guess if you think about it, a religion could be a minority as well, or a lack of religion anyway.

There is one group of non-religious peoples, known as Atheists, who deny the very existence of a god. They are not to be confused with the Satanists who believe that Satan is all powerful and god should f*ck off. Do not confuse them with Anarchists who are just about destroying all that is law and having no presiding government. Atheists just simply think of god as a fairy tale and nothing more. I am not going to get into a religious debate now because the issue is a religious debate, so to speak.
Up at the White House (or at least at Congress), some activists are demanding that "In God We Trust" be removed from use in the white house, government, and other things that are meant for everyone and not just religious peoples. The Atheists who are arguing against this phrase may, in fact, have a point. We are a government that is supposed to have a separation of church and state. The reason we instituted this fact is that whenever religion plays a bigger role in governing (as shown throughout history) it can lead to much trouble. Likewise, it is just as bad for government to start meddling in religion.

Honestly, I think the only reason to keep that phrase is because our founding fathers, far as I know, used those words and those words have kept being used out of tradition. To take away this phrase does seem like a way of uprooting the beliefs of the founding fathers. At the same time, I agree religion is a hindrance to many things involving government. Certain officials, as Silver is quick to mention, get barred from higher elected offices simply because they have different religious beliefs from other people and yet be totally qualified for the job.

So post a response. What do you think should happen? Should the phrase "In God We Trust" be removed or should we stick to our nation's tradition? Should we try to appease everyone or should some be ignored because their opinions are unpopular? You decide.

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Finally, that horrible actor who plays Dumbledor is gone because the old git is dead. Oh. Sorry if I spoiled that for you. In addition to that, the cake is a lie, rosebud is the sled, and this review is going to probably make you think twice of watching Harry Potter. Actually, I doubt it would. You're either already planning on seeing it and won't change your mind, or you have no intention of seeing it and I don't plan on changing your mind. Fact is that Harry Potter has a large enough fan base to probably be considered a country (not the biggest, but still a country). I'm sure J.K. Rowling could by Switzerland if she wanted to by now. Me nay-saying this movie now won't do anything other than to relieve stress because of sheer boredom.

Let me start by saying the plot is good. It passes the test, but since it is based off a halfway decent book series that should be expected! I mean, I could knock down Pirates of the Caribbean for having bad plot since it is based off a theme park ride (but it had good plot so it didn't need to get canonized). I could make fun of transformers or Yu-Gi-Oh for being simple gimmicks to sell more toys and cards (but I enjoyed transformers and the writers of Yu-Gi-Oh are, hopefully, burning in some kind of hell by now). Since these movies (Harry Potter) are based off a book series, we shouldn't be too surprised to what the plot is unless you haven't read the books. If you haven't read the books, you're bound to be only slightly confused because, like previous installments, Potter-6 has an issue with details. Sure, you get the general picture and it isn't too difficult to follow along. The problem is that you will most likely end up asking more questions after the closing credits than you'd like. Asking them will make you look like you're not part of the Potter-Club so you have to keep quiet until the next movies explain the details that are probably completely missed.

But enough of beating the dead-horse that is plot-hole-complaints. You've probably heard enough of those by the fans of the books so I'll save that complaining for them. MY biggest issue wasn't even with the plot holes. I haven't read the books in so long that I only remember the big picture and more important details. So minor details are likely to skip my mind. However there are some big issues I didn't like. First off, this movie/book was to highlight all the shit that made Voldemort the next "SATAN in TRAINING". We only saw maybe two flashbacks of his past and they were shit. I was hoping to see the one with his parents or whatever. There was very little action in this movie too, which severely disappointed me. From what I can recall from the book, I remember the school was having a big battle, a lot of lightning was coming out the ass from all over the place (magic light and not actual lightning), and there was a fight between Dumbledor and Snape (kinda) that at least made it look more interesting. I am probably wrong on that one but the death of Dumbledor (the part I looked forward to the most) was the most anti-climactic part because it was over in a second. I was hoping they'd drag THIS death out more than the f*cking death of f*cking John Dillinger I had to sit for ten minutes before they f*cking killed him!

See, this is one of the many problems with Hollywood directors. They don't know which scenes require the most suspense and shit. Here are some things to drag out in a movie in order to build interest or suspense. First, if the following action is going to be COMPLETELY unexpected, drag it out for suspense. It took a while for the main character of "Fight Club" to understand what the f*ck was going on in his messed up head but they decided to make him take his time in figuring it out in hopes that we'd be surprised. I was a little shocked, but I started expecting that around the time he was beating himself up. SECOND, if it is a key point of interest in the movie, drag it out for the suspense. We all came to see Anakin become Darth Vader and I feel the Revenge of the Sith pulled off that particular transformation well. It wasn't perfect, but I can at least applaud they didn't just do it in five seconds ruining the moment of his full transformation.

I guess that's it. So I'll end my review here... OH SNAP! I remember something else. You know those after school specials about the guy who like that girl who is totally into that other guy who is gay for the teacher who is already boning some other chick in a lesbian-ish threesome with some other guy? If you do, then you may thoroughly enjoy film because all it seemed to do for a vast portion of this 2.5 hour wankfest. With the world falling apart all the kids in the movie were concerned with boning someone. Opening scene shows Harry wanting to get it on with some waitress until Dumbledor cock-blocks him to take him on an important (but boring) side quest. For as amusing as it was to see characters try and fail to get into one-another's pants, I found it tiresome because I wanted to get to something relevant and interesting. For just losing Sirius Black (not Sirius Radio), Harry doesn't seem the least bit depressed about it. I remember he wouldn't shut the f*ck up for a while in the book. I probably should be grateful, but I don't find him chasing tail to be any more interesting either.

All I can say is that I can see many a cheap porno emerging from the woodworks to parody this movie (if not happened already). This movie sure gives them a lot of material to work with, Jesus Christ. I sat through the entire movie pointing out various Freudian references because I just couldn't take the damned thing seriously one bit. That's a problem because this is supposed to be a dark film based off a dark movie. In fact, after book 4, they get INCREDIBLY dark, but the movies fail to grasp that darkness and we're left with a comical attempt to seem creepy and evil when it really is just a display of old men and little boys playing with their wands and broomsticks.

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It's time for a comprehensive review of "Fight Club". I don't know why I called it "comprehensive", but I chose to use that word so I did. Back on topic, I saw the movie "Fight Club" the other day and I am perplexed as to whether I liked it or not. Obviously, I was distracted by someone much more important than any movie, but I did manage to catch the most of the movie and understand it while also getting into it. Warning, this review does have spoilers and I know there are people who hate those. When you see the words "SPOILER WARNING" appear, just skip ahead until you see "SPOILER FREE" which means that I'm done talking about the important stuff. Oh... and the cake is still a lie.

The beginning I'm a tad fuzzy on because it seemed to just be the gathering of facts about some depressed man who wasn't happy with his life and couldn't really get any sleep at all. I know kind of how he felt when the movie was over because I only had about four hours of sleep before working the same morning (yes, it ended after midnight). He meets some gothic-Looney-girl who f*cks up his whole plan of going to group therapy to make himself feel better. So he goes off to do... something and comes back to find his home destroyed by... someone. On his trip he meets... this guy (a main character) and they talk for a while on the plane ride home. Obviously, from their conversation, you can tell this new person is just as f*cked up as that bitch who signed up for Testicular Cancer Therapy.

The loser calls up the psychotic guy and asks to stay at his place (sort of) and the two become fast friends who start beating up each other to relieve stress (apparently). Eventually, other people start getting into the fights and we have ourselves Fight Club, which no one is supposed to talk about because they want to avoid cops or their wives getting pissy. Eventually, the club starts growing and then turns from pants-on-head-retarded club for depressed people to criminal organization that likes to f*ck shit up. They start fighting random people, vandalism, arson, and a bunch of other things. I wish I could say it stopped there because that is pretty cool and a intriguing idea to start a criminal syndicate. I don't want power or money, but just to mess with people and break shit. If I could rally a bunch of dumbf*cks to do that for me and get away with it on a regular basis, it would be pretty awesome. That being said, the closest experience I'll get for that will be Warcraft or Pikmin for now. I could try Overlord 2, but I won't.

After the Fight Club evolves into "PROJECT MAYHEM", then the movie quickly jumps from being a badass action-comedic-drama thing into a very surreal and twisted movie about the workings of the human mind involving various levels of sanity. Oh, SPOILER WARNING, in case you were getting nervous about that. It would seem that once the cool guy the loser guy befriended vanished, the loser was in charge of whatever the f*ck was going on now. He wanted to stop it all before it could end, but no one in the organization was cooperating and seemed confused. As it turns out, the cool guy is just a split personality of the loser guy created out of his depression and need to grow some balls. Sadly, those balls become too heavy for him to walk properly (or something along those lines). SPOILER FREE.

The plot is about as f*cked up as a movie can get without delving into the realms of complete idiocy. By that, I mean it may seem like a totally trippy movie that can confuse anyone without a working frontal lobe, but it still pulls off the whole thing well enough for normal people with working frontal lobes to understand. Beyond that, this movie takes me back to the insane days of Portal. How? The dark humor gives one an evil grin and can completely freak you out on occasion. The twisted plot is so twisted it might as well be a pretzel, but if a pretzel is made right, it generally is edible and can even be delicious. Would I recommend watching this movie? Why not? I definelty enjoyed it. Then again, I had an attractive girl in my arms at the time so maybe you should find one to watch with you as well.

I do, however think the violence level brings us back to "Watchmen". I criticized Watchmen (I think) on having what I call "Over the TOP violence". I guess I shouldn't have expected much less from the movie called "FIGHT Club" but it was really f*cking ridiculous at some points when the guy's face was covered in blood he might as well have been wearing a mask of it and painted his walls with it as well. I'm not a violent person, but I do look movies that take violence to a tasteful extreme. This movie, I think gets to that tasteful extreme and then steps over the line a bit. I might be making much, but I guess "Watchmen" gets away with it because they are strange super-powered freaks who all want to bone the same large-bosomed female lead. This movie is, however, about regular people. Well... as regular as people with mental issues get, but still regular people. But if violence doesn't bother you check it out. You'll love this movie down to the very last explosion and face punch. If you don't like it, then f*ck off and go watch your Disney Pixar Adventures.

A note from Silver: I did not participate in this weeks rant for personal reasons not relating to the rant or the people associated with the rant. I will return in the coming weeks to kick ass and play card games... and we're all outta ass!

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Fluffy here, and taking charge for now. This week Silver is taking some time off. Apparently, he has an issue he needs to tend to or he'll go crazy. I swear, women may be awesome, but it seems like it never ends with this guy. Whatever. We got work to do and shit to write so let's get the lead out. Today we'll be doing a mass review overhaul. What are we getting at today? E3!!! It was a while ago, I know, but there is a lot to cover on that so DExM and I will spend the majority of the rant on that. Also, There are TWO movies in review for this week. Last week, Public Enemies came out and it is time we take a good look at it. Also, a new Woody Allen film and it was probably the highlight of the week. Let's get started. DExM will take us off with Nintendo's line-up at E3.

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This is DExM, with Nintendo E3 coverage. I know most of our fans at a couple sites are Nintendo fans, so I won't try to take on Fluffy's usual style of automatically hating anything, but I will throw some things into question which will hopefully come off as halfway decent criticism. Let's get started with the Mario series.

Mario is having quite a few new games coming out within the next year. Two of which were showcased at E3. I'll start with the sequel of Super Mario Galaxy, creatively titled Super Mario Galaxy 2. I know I'll be getting hateful things thrown at me but I seem to find a flaw with Nintendo's recent games and how they lack innovation. They have been re-releasing a lot of Gamecube games for the Wii with Wii controls (and they are continuing THAT trend with the Metroid Prime Trilogy). They were all good games, but rather than remake and rehash the past, let's make some new titles and start revolutionizing the gaming world. Let's make the Wii do some awesome stuff that hasn't been done yet.

Coincidentally, there is also a Mario Co-op game which follows the New Super Mario Bros. game for the DS. It isn't a bad sounding title until you get into the fine print. From what I have read about this game, it seems to have two unique selling points that I feel don't really make the best of the system or the game. First is the co-op feature, which sounds good but gets nicked when you read the interview with Miyamoto saying the levels were designed for single player campaigns. I'm sorry. I missed where the multiplayer makes the game better other than the whole socializing-thing. Then there is the part where you can have the computer take control of your character to play the game for you if it becomes too difficult or if you don't feel like pausing it and want to make a sandwich. That is not a selling point you should point out too proudly. Saying that a selling point is that you don't have to play the game to beat it takes the point of buying the game away. With this feature (I know it is optional) there really is a low incentive to actually play this game.

Enough harping on that for now. Let's focus on some obviously better titles. Metroid: The Other M was one of the big "thrills" Nintendo threw out to everyone. Developed by Team Ninja and featuring a lot of interesting things, Metroid: The Other M will certainly be a game to follow during the development stages. Some features include the switching of FPS style & TPS style combat. It also has fully voice-acted cinematics, and a lot of other new things Metroid has generally not done so much of. With all these changes, let's hope that this game breaks some barriers that Nintendo seems to be afraid of doing anymore.

Another shocker was the announcement of Golden Sun for the Nintendo DS. Finally, a game that hasn't been done by Nintendo to death makes a reappearance after six long years of silence. Now if only we could get the same spark in the StarFox series, then we'd be on a role. Golden Sun information was rather limited, but the fact a decent RPG game is coming out for Golden Sun will certainly make things more interesting for a while.

Some 3rd Party announcements included Dead Space Extraction. I get that Nintendo can't take the original Dead Space game for itself for some arbitrary reason, but why do they think pawning off these "off-shots" of the originals will make things that much better? Are they trying to horn in on the Dead Space fans without Wiis and get them to buy them too? I honestly don't see much of a point. Look, Nintendo, give us the original games but with Wii controls. It is easily possible but you guys just seem to think we can be happy and content with some knock-off game. Portal was a good game, but if you guys decided to add some kind of knock-off that took one of the big elements out of the original (like the dark humor or something seemingly minor but a part of Portal's personality), you lose the original feel for the game and it is nothing special after that.

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is also being released for the Wii. I don't know much about that series, but I do know it is a popular franchise and I'm sure Fluffy will take the opportunity to rent/buy and review it. It sounds like an interesting horror premise, but the recent titles haven't been the quality the series was originally known for and so here's hoping this will turn out well.

Last up are the special announcements of the new Zelda games. It appears they are taking the "Cloverfield" approach and not saying anything about the game except for the obvious information like it is a Legend of Zelda game, Link is in it (again), and it is on the Wii. Fluffy says nothing good will probably come of this game because it will probably be another boring quest with the only question worth asking is whether you get the boomerang or the slingshot first. I like to reserve the opinion that it could be pretty good. Twilight was one of the better games in the series and this looks to follow the same style. But since little is known about it, we'll just have to wait and see.

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The rest of E3 will be covered by me, Fluffy. So let us get started with what Bungie brings to the table with Halo Reach. I might be wrong, but I was under the impression that Bungie was moving away from Halo after ODST. This game apparently has a trailer where a huge explosion goes off on the planet earth. Little information was presented in that trailer, so I looked it up. Little information there too. Not that I care. Halo has always struck me as a mediocre series with shiny shoot-ém-up game play that isn't all that impressive.

Assassin's Creed 2 was also shown at E3. I saw the trailer and I was just in complete awe of how good the game looks. I thought I had clicked the wrong link and was watching a video of a live-action movie or something. I'm not f*cking kidding, that's good it looked. Beyond that, I can't say too much about it. Obviously, there is still some killing and assassinating. When more information is released, I'll do what I can to point it out.

There are some games to not look forward to at all... unless you are very interested in throwing money away. In which case, I'll just throw mine out the window and hope it gets to good use by someone else. One game is Final Fantasy fourteen. I need not say more on that. A game called "On the Edge of Twilight" was also announced at E3 with a very... um... uninformative review. You just heard someone talking with no explanation as to what kind of game it is or what exactly the point of the game is.
Left 4 Dead 2 also rears its ugly face at the competition. I'm not looking forward to its release because I just bought Left4Dead not long ago. I'll let it slide if VALVe decides to make the game at a lower price since this seems like "episodic gaming" in which multiple releases are made in short amounts of time. That only makes sense, so I don't think I'm sounding too demanding. I mean, the co-op is obviously going to be miles above New Super Mario Bros. Wii, but this sudden sequel is just a bit of an annoyance if anything.

Metal Gear Solid also gets a new game on the PSP. Since it is on the PSP, I am automatically calling it shit since I can determine the PSP is shit based off everything I've seen, heard, and harped against. God of War III also made an appearance. Metal Gear Rising is being released as well. So I guess Solid Snake will be working overtime for a while.

All in all, I'm just not super impressed with E3 this year. There are a couple of titles that are getting my attention and many that aren't. I guess we just have to wait until the releases to see what happens next.

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This will only be a three part episode because I'm doing a double movie review. The first of which is "Public Enemies" and the second is "Whatever Works". They are two COMPLETELY different movies so do not assume they have anything in common other than I saw them in the same week and I wanted them reviewed in this episode before I get into Harry Potter for this upcoming week.

I'll start with Public Enemies because I plan on keeping it short. Public Enemies is the movie we anticipated for a while as being awesome because we have Christian Bale and Johnny Depp given great performances in a movie about one of the biggest gangsters ever. Johnny Depp portrays good ol' John Dillinger (if anything, to keep us from getting names confused). Christian Bale plays the role of the guy who eventually takes Dillinger down in victory but he is overshadowed by the fact Dillinger was actually caught and thus his name is forgotten for this review. Character wise, it is difficult to tell anyone apart from anyone else. I could pick out these two because I was looking for them. Also, Baby-Face Nelson seemed to stick out more to some people because he was f*cking psychotic. The point is that if you make yourself more noticeable and draw more attention to yourself, then you'll get more screen time and maybe recognized by the viewing audience.

The plot is something that most people know right off the bat, and, if not, they can guess because it is pretty f*cking obvious. Dillinger is a big gangster. He cocks up a bit and gets thrown into jail where he is then busted out just to mirror the first f*cking scene where he breaks someone else out of jail. Johnny is free for a while but because he likes to think with his dick rather than the frontal lobe, he decides to go after his girl back in Chicago (as both a sign of loyalty and retardation). The cops catch on to him. He alludes them at the cost of Miss Titty's freedom. He plans to break her out as soon as he is able to which isn't explained on why he doesn't get to work on the right away. Instead he runs and hides with some other women who betray him. He is killed. End movie, now go to your cars and say how amazing it was (not especially).

For a movie that works with a historical plot and has amazing actors who could probably portray it well, they sure as hell didn't put the final product together as well as they could have. One instance is the ending scene where Johnny is killed. I've played shooting games and I've never remembered a point where a guy being shot by everyone took so damn long. From the time he fell for the trap to the time he was declared dead was it must have been at least ten minutes... maybe fifteen. I might even be exaggerating, but I felt like that was the longest part of the f*cking movie. I understand a need for dramatic tension, but it stopped being suspenseful when you know he was John F*cking Dillinger! I get that if an alien had popped out of his gut and murdered everyone, it would have been suspenseful. I get that if Dillinger escaped and Christian Bale had to assume the role of Batman to catch him, it would have been suspenseful. But, Jesus Christ, it was just some guy getting shot that we saw coming when we knew the plot for the movie.

Another problem is that the movie seems slow. When I think John Dillinger Movie, I think cops-&-robbers-shoot-ém-up-whizzy-bang -bang-action! I DON'T think a lot of dialogue between unmemorable characters talking about things I couldn't give a toss about for reasons I give less than a shit about. After a while, I was seriously considering just walking out of the movie because I was so damn bored. That might have been because I was distracted by the amazingly awesome girl next to me, but, I digress, I would probably have had more fun if I had walked out of the theater and banged my head against a wall. I only stayed because I respected the big actors and felt like if I left, I might miss something where they would make the movie shine and I would be able to change my overall opinion, but that never happened. I don't blame the actors or the plot which the movie was based around. I honestly think it could have been a good movie, but whoever wrote it for what happened and whoever directed it for this style needed to take the anti-depressant... or a suicide pill and f*ck off so that some real shit could hit the fan with some real action. I'm not a craven psychotic with a love for violence, but this movie was so boring that I think I was about ready to go on a murdering spree just to keep myself from killing myself out of boredom... Okay, I'm making too much of this, let's move to something I DID like. Whatever Works.

Not everyone is a Woody Allen fan, I know I wasn't before this movie (because this is the first Woody Allen movie I've seen). I, however, can honestly say that this movie might just sell me on the guy because I f*cking loved it. The somewhat dark humor that reminds me so much of myself and that made me smile. The actual comedy, however, was exceptionally well written. As a plot standpoint, it starts off seemingly predictable, but it quickly picks up into twisted territory where you don't know exactly what's gonna happen. You think the ending is going to be a load of shit and chips, but it actually was an ending I could give the approval rating too. It was just that good.

I really can't find any criticism for it other than I wish it was showing at more theaters. This is one of those more "arty" movies. Meaning that it will only be playing at theaters who give a f*ck about it. That being said, these theaters tend to be more expensive than my usual theater. So I recommend this movie wholeheartedly, but I hate it simply because it decided to be pretentious and only go to certain theaters, the snobby pricks.

I'm insanely devoted to the idea of expanding the audience of the Uchiha Rant more and more until we reach full capacity and the universe explodes... or we get at least one fucking comment from a place other than the original site that isn't spam or something retarded... alas... I suppose we must shovel through and get on with our miserable and dreary existence. Greetings. I'm Silver Uchiha (for those of you just joining us). I along with my cohorts (not the old military term but today's modern day term for cohorts) will be here to tell you about... stuff. That is about as finite as I can get it since we tell you about "stuff" every week (AI director willing) and we look forward to your participation in the future (ie commenting).

Yes, today's intro is, in fact, TWO paragraphs. I can't fucking believe it either. This is a rarity, but it will happen from time to time if we need to. Why? Because we're saying hello to a larger audience (hopefully) so let's get started. What are today's topics? We were going to do a commentary special, but I think I'll save that until we get more comments from other sites. Otherwise I'll be using the same 3 people the whole post and then it'd seem pretty retarded and pointless... no offense people of Roleplayer... but you understand. I guess that means we'll stick to actual topics for today. I'll continue to explain why I hate Obama and his latest blunder of an energy plan (if you can call it that). DExM will argue against me saying why it is a good idea. I'll come back with a whole new topic on something I haven't decided yet as of writing this introduction. Then Fluffy will wrap things up with a review of... he hasn't told me yet. Let's get started with the landmark 35th episode of THE UCHIHA RANT!!!

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Say what you will about the environment. You can say it is dying because we put toxic fumes into it on a secondly basis. You can say that the ice-caps are melting because the sun is getting stronger with a thinner layer of ozone to protect us and the ice. You can even say that renewable energy is what we need. For all but the first two points, you are completely right and get a gold star. If you still continue to believe in the first two points more than you believe in Jesus f*cking Christ, then you deserve no gold star and never will unless you start paying attention to what Dr. Uchiha has to say today.

FACT: Yes, we put toxic fumes into the air on a millisecondly-basis (not even a word). As I speak (type) now, I'm sure more fumes are being put into the air killing off another... whatever that was important for whatever reason you can think of that someone might care about... maybe. But the fact is that those fumes would have eventually built up over time anyway. Volcanoes would still explode which cause A LOT more of the pollution in the air than people give them credit for, the ash-spewing motherf*ckers. But are we entirely to blame? I don't think so. Sure, we deserve some blame. But let me ask you this, are we also to blame for the rotation of the earth? Are we to blame for the extinction of the dinosaurs? Are we to blame for... um... wind? No. Not at all (for the most part).

The whole thing going on now with these toxic fumes are also part of a natural occurrence. In fact, the whole "global warming" bull shit, that Al Gore spoon fed every single liberal pussy since he lost the election to Bush and needed something to feel good about himself, is just what I said it is. It is a load of bull shit (so on and so on). The "global warming" thing you THINK we are experiencing as a cause of our negative actions to the environment is actually part of the "Ice Age Cycle". No, I'm not talking about how a new Ice Age movie comes out every year. I'm saying how every MILLIONS of years there is a new ice age which forces species of all kinds on earth to evolve and adapt (over the course of said millions of years) or die off pathetically. The WARMING part is just a part of the process we CAN'T reverse and CAN'T stop. We MIGHT be able to slow it down but is that really worth all the cost and effort to do so? Think of that as those evil bad guys from the cartoons wanting immortality. They stopped at nothing just to live a little bit longer. You know what happened? They... died miserably and deserved it for TRYING to DEFY the NATURAL ORDER of things.

FACT: (yes, I'm just getting to my second point). Ice melts when sun hits it. Don't believe me? Go take an ice cube from your freezer, put it out on the sidewalk for a while, and watch it. Go ahead, I'll wait... (waiting)... (waiting)... (waiting)... Back? Okay. I will guess your ice cube melted quickly unless you are experiencing winter or are in a naturally cold area. If it is one of the latter choices, then f*ck off for a bit. For those who are where the sun can melt things easily (plastic army men are really fun), that is what happens to the polar ice caps. The difference is that the polar ice caps are MUCH bigger and in a MUCH colder area so it will take MUCH longer for them to melt completely. Will they melt? Yes. Is that bad? No. Why? It is the NATURAL order of things. The ice caps melt and freeze over when the earth floods, causing the next ice age like it is supposed to every few million years. I'm hoping this concept stick to you rather soon because I am sick of repeating myself.

FACT: We should get some new form of renewable energy because it is a good idea. Okay, you got me with this one. Ideally, yes a new form of energy would be great. Problem: That costs a shitload of money. Solution:... um... steal it? That's exactly what the government wants to do. "But Silver, you craven but intelligent young man, how is the government going to do that?" The same way they steal all of your other moneys, through taxes you thickheaded dumb-f*ck. A new bill put in place by Obama (who obviously is more intelligent than me because MUST know what he's doing since he IS president) has been passed by the house and now moves to the senate. This bill is going to charge extra moneys for those not using renewable energy. In short, those of us in the Midwest using the cheap and very dirty form of energy called "COAL" will have a giant fist shoved up our asses and all the money will be ripped out of our colons (somehow).

"But Silver, you seemingly insane but brilliant socio-path, surely you mean just big businesses and shit, right?" Again, I proceed to call you a thickheaded dumb-f*ck. I don't know exactly who all gets affected by this retarded legislation, but let's just say it is only businesses for our purposes. Since the businesses are being taxed more to run, they need to make up that cost in some way. The only way they can is to raise prices for their products or services. Who buys those products and services? If you need me to draw a map out for you, then go hang yourself now and spare me the trouble since it wouldn't be worth it. THE SHITTYNESS GETS PASSED ON TO YOU! And, assuming that you DON'T have YOUR OWN energy costs skyrocket from this horrid legislation, you will have to choose between paying bills or paying for food. That sounds like another award winning choice right there.

People who put Obama into the white house and are still smiling and giddy need to wake the f*ck up and realize there are some major issues in his legislation, policies, and being a dick-headed idiot that should have prevented him from getting the position in the first place. Sure, McCain was a weak challenger but he couldn't have been any worse than Obama is right now. Did I forget to mention the HUGE economic problem that we are still dealing with but seems to be swept under the rug and no one in the media seems to be paying much attention to it anymore? If prices for all your stuff plus higher energy costs take your money, how the f*ck do you expect the economy to be fixed anytime soon? Who the f*ck put this guy in charge? Why the f*ck do I have to keep making this point? If you didn't get it by now maybe I should just kill myself now and come back in the next life in hopes that mankind has evolved enough to gain some common sense and a brain between their ears.

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DExM here and I am feeling the sting of a very slow news week. So rather than pick one topic and explain why whatever is going on is stupid or not, I'm going to go ahead and pick several newsfeeds we can all larf about for a while. Here we go:

Sarah Palin is resigning as governor of Alaska. She made a long speech as to why but that isn't too important since I'm sure we can guess why. McCain was stupid to pick her for Vice President for several reasons. One, she really wasn't all that great despite a very nice first impression. In addition, she has gotten so much media attention since the election, that I think it is driving her crazy and she just wants out of the political game altogether to avoid these problems from continuing. I empathize with her because I would not want the media around me simply because I lost an election while teamed up with an old man who ran a campaign like a bus off a cliff.

North Korea is continuing their bold attempts for world domination and Team Rocket failures by launching more missiles with their maximum range at this point getting to around 300 miles. I get that they want to cause havoc, but can't they just stop it while everything is still quiet except for the areas in the Middle East? I suppose they aren't a threat to anyone here in America yet, but China, Japan, and South Korea need to step up and do something or we could have problems. Even Russia should be encouraged to act because we don't need something stupid happening because no one wanted to stop some nut-job like back in the Great Depression Days with Hitler.

Elsewhere in the world, a teenage girl overhears her mother's screams during sex, and she misinterpreted those screams as a cry for help. Apparently, she grabbed a baseball bat and beat the man who was trying to have a good time with the aid of three of her friends. The girl is making claims she thought her mother was being assaulted, but you'd think with how crappy parenting has been over the past few decades, most teenagers would know what sounds generally occur during sex (having experienced it or not). I, for one, think she's full of it. Besides, why not just call the cops instead? Now assault charges are very possible here.

Some news we forgot to mention in a previous episode is still under investigation so we will mention it now. A while a plane from France crashed. As the reports go, the planes were scheduled for some maintenance which many believe would have been a way to prevent the plane from crashing. My thought here is that if you have them scheduled for something like that, then just do it as quickly as possible and don't let the planes fly until you get them dealt with. Hell, I'd rather lose money not flying and getting my planes fixed rather than losing lives because I neglected the proper maintenance for the damn things.

That's all from me this week. Sorry I don't have more to offer, but this has been a rather slow week for the news. Until next time, this is DExM (Deus Ex Machina) signing off. And it was a pleasure to have you read my work. ^_^

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For those of you familiar to the Uchiha Rant, you'll notice that the first segment I did was a repeat of last week's (mostly) in where I said how empty-headed a new piece of legislation (shit) was passed. I usually don't repeat news unless I'm making a point but since we added a new site to our list of sites the Uchiha Rant is now posted at, I felt it would make sense to highlight the one newsworthy thing that happened within the past week since this week had nothing of interest at all. There was some guy who got his 15th DUI and that brings into question a lot about the current status of the American Police forces, but that's beside the point. Since there is nothing new to talk about news wise and I need to fill this section I needed to think of something. The idea of having nothing made me feel pretty down and I tried to think of something cheerful and uplifting. So, without further ado, GO TEAM RETARD!

I hate writing about my personal life anymore because it usually implies two things. Either it is going to shit and attempting to take everyone with it, or it is obliviously happy in a world of pure innocence just waiting for it to turn to shit. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but when anything good happens in my life and it gets taken away rather quickly, it is rather hard to sound upbeat. However, I didn't post this section merely so say how shit my life is but to talk about some interesting potential I see for the coming... um... however long it'll drag on for before something f*cks up my life again.

My luck with women lately has been worse than those druid guys called "Morphs" with a Luck-Stat of zero preventing them from performing critical hits. It seems either we appear to be a good match but something goes horribly wrong without my knowledge of it or we seem like a horribly flawed match but defy the odds anyway like a couple of gits. As you can probably imagine, this has made me feel rather depressed for the past several months as my continuous attempts seem appealing have not been working well at all. Just as I was about to give up hope and start a religion where I could join a seminary (since I hate all currently existing religions) a ray of light entered my otherwise dimly lit life. To say it in a less stupid expression, I met this girl recently and... I am not sure exactly how to explain my overall impression about her. It's pretty much positive but in a confusing sense like how I can enjoy a game like Sonic Adventure despite all the buggy features everyone else seems to complain about all the time. I digress, let me further delve into what the f*ck I'm talking about.

When I describe things I like about her, one of the first thing that comes to mind is she seems "off the wall", which to some will translate as crazy. For those who find that odd you're probably thinking, "Silver, you Sonic-loving dickhead, how can crazy girls appeal to you?" The simple answer is based off m probably flawed observation. I notice as guys get older, we tend to get less crazy, especially after the period in which we are in the marines or finished our college-binge-drinking days. Women, on the other hand tend to do the opposite and seem to get a little crazier as they get older. For all the new female readers that are about to spam my inbox, I already admitted this is a flawed observation so I am not attesting to the accuracy of it. But crazy girls, to me, tend to be more fun. They walk into a room and it warms my face and brings a smile to my heart... or the other way around... let's just say that they light the room on fire to keep it all simple.

Another thing I like about her would be the things she is interested in, so to speak. I won't go into detail on what those things are because some would find them odd, and strange the last thing I want to do is to alienate people that are just joining us for the first time. I, however, find it not only amusing but incredibly interesting. It might be because I have a similar interest in those similar things or it might be because I'm pants-on-head-retarded and still have some maturing to do before I know what the f*ck I'm talking about.

I suppose the last, and most important point, is that (from what little I still know of her) she seems rather familiar. She's like that video game you like because it takes the aspects of good games that you already played and puts them together almost perfectly without dragging in too many negative qualities from those games to even be noticeable or a problem. In short, (if you recall Fluffy's reviews) she is very similar to Prototype in the sense that Prototype is made of several components borrowed from other, excellent titles which makes the game that much better. The only thing that Prototype was missing (I agree with Fluffy) was a time controlling feature that Shadow the Hedgehog or the Prince of Persia had. You didn't need those features, but then again, you didn't need half of the things in that game with a f*cking blade for an arm.

I'll stop here because I already feel I've shared too much, to an embarrassing degree in fact. I get the feeling she'll read this and quite possibly catch on to me which will either look really bad, pathetic, or possibly (but unlikely) good. If things do not turn out well I will blame Michael Jackson for dying last week instead of dying this week for something newsworthy to discuss. I will also blame Obama for not doing something stupid THIS week too since that seems to be all he ever does. I suppose I could always blame my usual fall guy when I am unsure of who to blame, GOD. I think I'll relieve some stress of struggling with topics to write about by attempting to finish Prototype as Fluffy keeps mocking me for taking too long to finish it.

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I'm just a bit torn. I have a couple games I could review but don't feel like playing for many reasons. One of which is because one game is Sims 3. It doesn't look bad and the concept sounds entertaining but the idea of devoting endless hours of my life to maintaining the lives of virtual people stopped appealing to me as soon as I realized that I couldn't kill them instantly with fire or electricity and I would need to wait a while until I could. This disappointed me and made me go play something more destructive... like Left 4 Dead... or Prototype. I haven't seen any new movies since Transformers (which will not be beaten down by my book), and I won't see Dillinger until later this weekend. Therefore, I have nothing new to review.

Then I saw Silver do some stuff online about world domination and being evil and then I got the idea to do the "PERFECT VILLAIN RANT". I've already done the Anti-Villain Rant where I complain about specific baddies and how they are stupid. In this series, I will be saying the common clichés and what generally makes a decent villain. I will make references to specific individuals, but I will try to keep it rather general. With that in mind, let's get started. Today's part of the PERFECT VILLAIN RANT saga is the creation/origins of the villain. Where better to begin?

Horror movies are a good example of bad use of evil origins. In the old days (before the 1990s) horror movies generally had a guy or thing killing everyone except for the smartest kid or the hottest bitch. That worked rather well because all it was, was just some dude trying to kill other dudes with no explanation needed to make good entertainment. Anymore, it seems all of these sociopathic killers need some kind of reason as to their moral choice of mindless slaughtering of oversexed teens in a spooky camp. How's this for a reason? The killer (we'll call him Choppy because he has a bunch of weapons that chop things) saw these oversexed teens on his spooky and abandoned campground. Pissed off at them for cumming all over his spooky and abandoned furniture, he decides to go on a murderous rampage until everyone is dead or scared shitless.

My opinion is that not all villains need a good history to make them evil. There are two ways that a goodie-two-shoes can become an evil-sonvuabitch that really matter. Either that person was born or created to be evil and has no choice in the matter or they choose to be evil. You can say there is a third option of they have something happen to them that makes them evil, but that is a load of bullshit because we all have choices. If you are electrocuted and part of your face melts and you decide to wear a creepy metal face and say, "I am Dr. Doom and I will rule the world" then you chose to be evil. You could have just as easily gone around to schools and have informed children the dangers of electricity and use yourself as an example.

Seeing as how this is starting to become boarder line "Motivation" and not so much "Origination" I will take a step back for a moment and get back to just the origination. In a sense, I suppose those who are created or born to be evil also have a choice in the matter but since they look like evil, talk like evil, and piss like evil then they just jump to the conclusion they are evil. From this logic, you have creatures like Mewtwo attempting to destroy humanity. What I am getting at is that we all have a choice in whether we decide to tuck a child in bed or murder his dog with a lot of middle ground in between for some rather interesting ideas to come up. Sometimes, as we will see in the next segment of the PVR, motivation is what really determines whether the thing, in question, is really evil or just misunderstood. For this particular segment, the origins of evil, we have choices. It is the choice to become evil that generally makes us evil. That is really the only origin there is. Even if you are the spawn of Satan, you may not turn out to be a bad person at all. Look at Sam Oliver from "Reaper". He is apparently the devil's son and he's probably the straightest arrow you'll ever meet.

We've almost hit a milestone 35 episodes and that makes us feel pretty good considering we've neglected to post certain weeks and have offended people (sometimes for the betterment of society). I am here to inform you that we are continuing the double dose of Uchiha Rant for this particular weekend to make up for lack of posting last week. Also, next episode will be a commentary special where we look back at all of our old comments, pick the ones we would like to address, and say a few things about them. Some will be serious, others will be stupid, but it is all in good fun and we hope you enjoy. Today's episode: (changing it up a little) Crooked Governor, Michael Jefferson, Cap & Crap, and Robots in Disguise.

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We all know that when it comes to politics, corruption and deceit are part of the territory. This leads me to the question of why we even bother dealing with a government. If we had anarchy, we'd would have to lead ourselves and just use plain morals to make decisions. Instead, we have large groups of people who think they are smart making all our decisions, whether the majority agrees or not. Some democratic system, right? It's more like a hypocritical system simply because nothing the politicians say ever actually gets done or works.

By now, you've probably heard about the case of the South Carolina governor and his estranged affair with the sexy slave girl from Prince of Persia, Farah. Okay, it was some Argentina woman but I wanted to give you an idea of what happened. The governor had been friends with this woman for a long time (eight years) and it suddenly turned "romantic" in the past year or so. Weird thing is, I never would expect a governor like this to go through with an affair because... well... he's boring. This is something exciting and wild, and this guy talks like my boring biology teacher from sophomore year who made me end up hating science and all that had to do with it.

I'm not saying having an affair or cheating is cool. In fact, I am a person who has honor and integrity who would never consider cheating on a person I am with (if any of the stupid girls I dated/attempted to date would stay around for longer than a week). I have my reasons but the biggest is that having an affair seems like too much work. You have to keep your regular girl (or guy) happy so they won't get suspicious or upset at you. You have to keep your mistress (or... guy) happy so they will keep giving you what you keep coming for. You have to keep both a secret from each other. And you also have to not f*ck it up. I don't know about you, but I couldn't be expected to deal with all that. This makes me even more curious as to how a GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE was able to do it since they never seem to actually get any work done... oh... wait.

Yes, the governor was republican. Yes, the senator who ratted him out was... also a republican. It seems the republicans are finally turning on each other in order to point out not all of them are crooked morons. In fact, some are actually good. It honked me off a little bit when I was in a Burger King yesterday and some guys (obviously Obama supporters) were saying how this guy deserves what he gets and the other guy was saying, "Yeah. Him, Palin, and all the others too." Wait a minute... when did Palin deserve anything bad? I mean, she wasn't smarter than a fifth grader but neither were many others who attempted that show (she was not on that show). This is why I think most liberals are stupid. They think their insults towards conservatives are in good humor when really, they're just being assholes who need to realize they have as many ghosts in their closets that could bite them in the ass. Their politicians and they ALL have them. Except for Mitt Romney, he is just a Mormon and apparently that's such a travesty to the evangelical thick-heads that no matter how qualified and skilled he would be for the job of president, he will never get it.

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DExM here, back from my little break. I'm a little disappointed in the fact that you guys didn't get a new rant up while I was gone. What were you guys doing? Seriously. Today, I will be the one leading the mourning of the late Michael JACKSON as well as a couple other people his death appears to be overshadowing.

Michael Jackson. Beloved child star that rose to the top with his brothers as the Jackson 5 many years ago. His music became great and, as lead vocalist, MJ was the one who was most prominently featured everywhere and became the biggest star of all the children. He was so big, he moved on to make his own music (as you well know). One of his biggest hits, Thriller, is one of the most looked up videos on Youtube (his recent passing away might be a contributing factor to that as well). MJ was popular all around the world with a personality in the music industry to rival that of Elvis Presley. It wasn't until recent years where he had surgery after surgery and allegation after allegation against him that things spiraled out of control. After the court hearings in the early 2000's, MJ went off and became more reclusive. It was only recently, that he announced a 50 show, comeback tour to make people see the talent, and not the "dark side" that is MJ. Sadly, those shows are not going to happen, as he passes away at the age of 50.

Whether you like him or not, MJ will still be one of those iconic figures that will go down in history as a great musician. Other deaths this week from the hall of fame include Farah Fawcett who died from her cancer earlier this week. Also, Ed McMahon died at the Reagan UCLA Medical Center earlier this week at the age of 86. I don't expect you to know about those last two, just to acknowledge them.

This just in, it was lucky for me that Silver didn't post it up on Saturday due to laziness. I just got word in that the Oxyclean guy has also passed away. Billy Mays has also died today. I don't know much beyond that. Anyone who had any information they want to share on it is more than welcome to. I just thought I'd add that on the post before it was posted up online. Have a good week.

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You should never trust a politician. Why? A historic look tells us that politicians only want power and once they get it they keep going for more and more until something tears them down because people started realizing that the person in charge is a dipshit. If you look back, Napoleon was a charismatic new leader to a nation facing many hardships of poverty, famine, and chaotic riots. Through his leadership, France managed to conquer most of Europe in only a few years. He failed to keep that power because he made one fatal mistake and then everyone was quick to tear him and France down before he could rebuild his army. Hitler was very similar. He was a charismatic man who took over the nation of Germany during times of hardship and poverty. Through his leadership, Germany managed to conquer a good portion of Europe in only a few years. He failed to keep that power because he made one fatal mistake and then everyone was quick to tear him down (and they called for the Americans to help).

Obama is much like both of the gentlemen before you. He is a charismatic man who has taken over the nation of America during times of hardship and poverty. Already he has made some pretty stupid decisions that I hope people start waking up to soon or later. I understand the "Obama-Train" was the hip thing for a while but that train is going to be stopping rather abruptly soon and that stop is in Slum Town and the only people who can afford to stay on the train are the political fat cats who will suck Obama's dick to get ahead. I know I seem biased, but my criticisms have always been logical and in good reason. The insults don't help my case but that is merely to add humor to my ravings. However, today's topic should give you a sense on what the f*ck I've been trying to point out if you still haven't caught on to why this man is a completely incompetent moron who has too much power right now.

First off, the large stimulus and bailout plans are still probably the biggest mistakes he's made. Throwing more money into the bottomless pit that is the American Economy is a pointless gesture that should never have been considered. Saving banks and businesses was a flawed premise because in capitalism businesses and banks that perform badly are supposed to fail while the smaller banks businesses that are performing better get business from the failed businesses and banks. In other words, capitalism is a perfect system as long as the government keeps their noses out of it and just let it flow. No. Instead, we have badly performing big banks and businesses staying in business (for no really good reason) while the smaller banks and businesses are struggling to survive because of all the strain caused by the bad performances of the bigger banks and businesses. I don't get why the incompetent Obama and his horde of liberal morons thought that was a good idea, but I guess it isn't their worst idea.

Printing off more money, part two of the Obama way to save the universe from collapsing in on itself. For the unintelligent and uneducated, this may seem like a good idea. This means there is more money flowing around so we don't have to worry about it running out. WRONG (in the words of Lex Luthor)! This means that the VALUE of that money is less than it was when there was less money. Most of you probably understood that. For those who don't, let me explain. You know how when one kid in the neighborhood got the new Nintendo Wii and it was the coolest thing when they got it? Imagine that one day, everyone got a Nintendo Wii. Now everyone has lost interest in it because everyone has it. The value in having a Wii has just dropped because now there are more of them in the area to play on and now everyone wants to just cut themselves out of boredom again. More money is yet ANOTHER step backwards to solving the economic problem. Again, I'm not done with Obama and his "bad-idea" machine.

Remember the huge spending bill he put out, got passed, and had a party for which probably cost a lot of money? It was that spending bill that was supposed to create many jobs for the jobless by just giving out money to various parts of the government, the states, and whatever else. This too sounds good but when you get a look at the fine print, you see what is really in store for everyone. The spending bill was filled with all sorts of pork spending for many unnecessary projects, reckless spending, and projects that wouldn't create any jobs at all (thus defeating the purpose of even having done it). There were some tax cuts, which were a minor plus against a major amount of spending which doesn't seem to balance out properly. Another example of why Obama has failed as a president within less than a year.

But I'm not done. No sir. If I'm going to argue why he's a bastard, I want to make sure I cover every little problem I have with him. For those who say I'm bias, you are seeing me argue at peak form with all of my best criticisms on full display with my insults to the lowest level I can to keep this as entertaining as possible. Yes, this paragraph is a brief intermission to keep you interested so you know I'm still involving you.

The latest of Obama's biggest shittyness would definitely be the bill he put into the House of Rep this week and the same bill that got passed. It is called the "Cap & Trade" bill. There was very little mention of this bill on television or in any media for that matter. So much for an administration that was going to account for everything they do, and make sure the people know exactly what's going on. Of course, that was also proven to be a falsehood on several different occasions (Air Force One over Ground Zero area, moving troops around instead of his initial promise of just pulling them out, not showing certain documentation of his past [birth records and shit], and plenty of other things that would have pissed everyone off if Bush had done it). This is just a liberal double-standard (and possibly a black one too). Obama can get away with doing anything right now no matter how incompetent and idiotic it seems because no one is going to say anything (at least no one with real political influence). If Bush had done any of the stuff he was doing, he would have been called out just like he always was because people hated him for no real good reason right off the bat (and he didn't steal the election from Gore. Gore was a loser anyway).

Back to the "Cap & Trade Bill". As I said, there was little media coverage over this bill or what it does. So I won't be surprised if any of you are unaware of what it does. Obama SAYS that it is a "goin-green" bill which is supposed to help reduce the global warming/global climate change/global buttf*ckery that is going on. Obama SAYS it will create jobs. Obama SAYS this is a good bill. Obama SAYS that bills like this should appease to even people like myself who will love it so much that rainbow monkeys will fly out my ass and vomit gumdrops and ice cream to all the good little liberal girls and boys. For those who didn't catch on, that was a joke to say that what Obama is SAYING isn't true. What this bill does is, essentially, add more taxes onto businesses and people for a really stupid reason.

You see, in the Midwest, Texas, and many other states that aren't like the dirt-poor California or the elitist New England States, the main fossil fuel used for anything is coal. It is a dirty but really cheap source of energy to use and we still have plenty of it to last until a more affordable form of renewable energy comes around. In the Midwest, we don't have the money to pay for all the fancy forms of renewable energy that put California into the massive deficit the pricks are in now. Obama wants to charge us resourceful, yet dirty people, by adding taxes to those who aren't using renewable forms of energy. Most businesses will have to either put out shitloads of money to buy new equipment to access this new form of energy OR put out shitloads of money to cover their asses from taxes. Those charges, sadly, get passed on to the consumer. YOU! YOU will have to pay extra for your goods and services. YOU will have to pay extra for gas and electricity (most likely). YOU will be ridiculed by people like me who know YOU voted for Obama (or supported him) and I'll say, "I f*cking called it!"

There are a massive amount of problems with this bill alone and I suppose it is only best to cover the two most prevalent problems with the bill. First of all, WE ARE IN A F*CKING ECONOMIC PROBLEM! The one thing you DO NOT do during ECONOMIC HARDSHIP is increase taxes or add taxes for STUPID F*CKING REASONS!!! People are stretching their pennies as much as possible as it is now. Doing this bill is only going to make it that much harder. If anything, we should all be converting to coal energy until the recession/depression balances out into a safe economic turn. But no, the liberals have to keep pushing that "Go Green" policy, which brings me to my second point. GLOBAL WARMING IS A LOAD OF TIDDLY WANK!!! I know that didn't sound too intelligent, but I've been using f*ck a lot and wanted to change it up.

Global warming is a hoax and it baffles me that the LIBERALS are the ones who started this stupid trend. Most liberals believe in the whole "Evolution" theory in which we all evolved from Mankeys and Pikachu (joke). The one thing that supports this theory is the "ICE AGE CYCLE THEORY". This means that every few years a new Ice Age movie is to be released (I mean that every million years a new ice age is to take place). Those who follow the Ice Age Theory (like me) already deduced that Global Warming is something hippies created to "get-off" when the weed isn't doing it for them. Al Gore got a hold of it and now this idea is the biggest falsehood to hit the public since the death of Bruce Lee (he's still alive in Chuck Norris' beard).

That's all for my longest Anti-Obama rant to date. As you can see, it was unbiased as I can possibly get. I presented good arguments with valid logic. I used as few jokes as I could to still keep it interesting. If care to argue or support what I am saying, please respond. This lets me know if you readers are that intelligent or if I'm just talking to a flock of sheep getting ready for a slaughter.

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I, too, will also be doing a long segment. I've seen enough negative reviews to know that I seem to have the unpopular opinion in just about everything. Alas, I will make a valid case for this movie, not matter how much others hate it because I actually liked it.

Nostalgia is something that makes things better because it brings back the memories of the times when we were all younger, stupider, and more innocent. It's why Nintendo can release one crappy Zelda game after another and still get the big bucks. It reminds the players of the original game and how good it was. Same for most of Nintendo's game as Nintendo's only way of selling anything now is to shove innovation into a box and hide it in the attic and just stick to the same old ideas in hopes that nostalgic appeal will be enough to get them money. Nostalgia isn't always bad, however. Sometimes it can be good as it makes something bearable enough to enjoy and blinds us from the horrid flaws that it probably has. This brings me to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Noticeably absent is a number in the title which means that they can go with the "Resident Evil" school of sequeling which means that a movie/game doesn't count as one of the main movies/games if it doesn't have a number in it.

Enough joking around and let me get into the meat of the movie. Plot wise, it isn't anything special from your run-of-the-mill CGI explosion fest. However, if you are like me, and love explosions and CGI and then you'll at least enjoy that. For the record, it was still better than any of Lucas' latest films so that should tell you something at least (including Crystal Skull). The basic plot is that there are Decepitcons still all around the world for some unknown reason. Turns out they are looking for a magic code to help them find more energy for their race as well as find their downed leader, Megatron. Soundwave gathers all the information they need and orders the Decepticons to do what needs to be done to accomplish their tasks. Meanwhile, the government is saying how the president (it IS Obama in this movie, by the way) is uncomfortable with having the Autobots here and believes they could be the reason the Decepticons are still around (WRONG).

I suppose it should be prudent to point out that there is some human involvement with the plot, which includes Megan Fox's T&A as well as Shia LaBeouf taking up most of the screen time and being boring and uninteresting. Shia gets the magic code stuck in his head which is the ONLY reason Megatron has any interest in him. Optimus Prime gets killed trying to protect the dumb f*ck (which reminded me of the original animated movie which made me sad). Shia, Megan's boobs, a stoner, an old man, and a slightly less annoying version of the autobot Wheelie go on a quest to find a way to revive Optimus while Megatron gets bitch slapped by some old Decepticon who needs to die and never be mentioned again. The eventually find a way to revive Optimus in time to stop the death laser from destroying the sun. Optimus fights the Fallen and saves the day (expected from a Transformers movie, but enjoyable).

Now to clarify some things about the movie. First, I've hated Megatron in the movie version since I saw his transformation as a jet. He never should be a jet and I find it appalling they didn't at least let him be a tank. In this movie, it is made even worse when he is bitch-slapped by "The Fallen". Megatron only took orders from one being and that was Unicron. For Megatron to be subordinate to ANYONE else makes a mockery of him as a Decepticon. I did like how Starscream was shown more and actually could be seen talking with Megatron about his betrayal from the first movie (it was more like running away).

Another thing that Michael Bay seems to forget is that the Transformers were about THE F*CKING ROBOTS! F*CK THE HUMANS! They're only role is to be the meat-shield for whatever team they are in the way of at the time. If they just focused on the Transformers they would have so much more in their movie that would be worth watching. That isn't to say there wasn't anything worth watching, just not enough for the uninitiated. Yes, this movie is probably one that best serves the actual fans of Transformers. I, being one of the biggest fans of my particular generation, LOVED the movie. I hated small aspects to it. However, like an imperfect woman, I only wanted it more because the things made it good made it worth it (bizarre logic, I know). That's the power of nostalgia. I mean you had the Matrix of Leadership, the death and revival of Optimus Prime, the Constructicons, and the old-school chemistry of Megatron and Starscream.

Michael Bay, despite having some serious flaws, did his research for the film. For that, he gets a cookie. Sadly, I'm going to have to take it away because he either didn't do enough research or he didn't use what he learned correctly. Why the hell did he have to add Mudflap and Skids into the film as poorly done racial slurs? I understand racism can be funny if done in the right way and if it isn't used so much that you wear an all-white outfit with that stupid, pointy hood. Why didn't you add Brawn, Cliffjumper, or Hound? Those were much cooler Autobots in the original series and they weren't as retarded as what was actually used in the movie. I'm also still pissed about the Fallen giving Megatron the royal-bitch treatment.

But I liked this movie, a lot. Michael Bay f*cked up a lot but also got a lot right. I'm looking forward to the 2012 installment in hopes that he'll finally get it perfect instead of the usual trend of being stupid. In addition, this whole nostalgia thing has made me reconsider the idea of reexamining the Zelda series and seeing if I can get something out of it or if it is doomed to be panned by me forever because it really is one of the crappiest series out there and I'm the only one who can see it for what it really is. Maybe I'm even more blinded by nostalgia when it comes to the movie. Maybe it really is shit and I should just go with the whole "It's Shit" belief that everyone else seems to have in the critic world. This movie has just stirred up a lot of inner-turmoil that I must deal with. I will see you next week.

We got two issues of the Uchiha Rant this week. Today (Friday) will be covering Diplomacy, Prince of Persia, Iran, and Prototype. This was supposed to take place last week when DExM was gone and we didn't get it posted because various things prevented us from doing so (such as a crappy connection for a little while). As for me, I've had a decent week with a lot going on and I'm glad I was able to get these two issues typed when I did. Without further ado, here is the issue that was supposed to take place last week. We hope you enjoy.

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There are currently two things I can't stand. One, my Pokémon don't level up with great ease once they get to a certain point which makes getting them to the level I want rather difficult at a certain point. The worst part of it is when they can't fight well in an area where training shouldn't be too much trouble for them. The other thing I can't stand is when you're the little guy with good ideas and you get smooshed by the big guy and their empty headed friend who things that the big guy has better ideas. I suppose I should elaborate a tad.

I was playing this game, called Diplomacy. I thought I would do fine until I realized I would be the country in the f*cking middle of the f*cking board and I hate being in the middle of things. Those who know my usual gaming style know I like to sit on the sides and do hit and run tactics rather than get involved. I only like close-up and in-your-face style gaming when I get really frustrated or really bored. Therefore, right from the get go I disliked how this game was going. Next, I was positioned right next to the person who I deemed to be the biggest threat. I figured that would work to my advantage since I could then keep him under my thumb with the neighbor to the north, who I thought, would be smart enough to see how bad he'd be and help me there. In short, things got f*cked up when I was backstabbed by both of them out of nowhere and I had yet done anything to provoke it. Now I get how the enemies of Prussia felt when Prussia started that Seven Years War shit. Sure, I was planning on getting the Ottoman Empire hard and fast, but that was after I got some bases and built an army. Attacking beforehand would have been an error on my part.

The game progressed with the usual dipshits backstabbing me further and the only people who seemed willing to help being in another f*cking galaxy (exaggeration). I digress, things did seem up when the player of France was coming inbound and was "willing to help". I should have noticed the lying when she kept saying how tight she was going to be with us. Seriously, she kept saying that she was good with us so many times, I felt like it was her only comprehensible phrase that could be uttered out of her mouth. It was like a f*cking NPC in a game of Zelda (another crappy game by the way) or an NPC in... um... something else... made of chocolate.

In the end, my team lost simply because everyone's mentality was "screw Austria" and "let's be a big evil corporation together". Here are some things that people should be aware of for future games like mine. First, team up with someone but don't let them just bully you. Make your own ideas and look out for yourself first before you deal with their petty little shit. Why? Because the team that should have allied with us to eliminate the Ottomans, got fourth instead of taking out Ottomans, and possibly being higher than that. Fourth was second to last which makes them look like shit. The second thing to keep in mind, playing this game with strangers can be a very negative experience because you don't know them, you really can't trust them, you don't know how they think, and it is a never win situation. Playing with friends would have been a much better experience because I know a couple of friends I could have easily relied on if needed and I know which ones I can't.

Despite having, unquestionably, the WORST experience anyone could POSSIBLY have with this game short of it killing my family and kicking me in the balls, I liked it. This game is similar to Risk in that you conquer the world but different in the sense there is no luck element so it is all just how you play the game and not if God decides to hate you for the evening. I plan on buying this game and playing it amongst friends because it does seem like something we would enjoy for quite a while. Now I'm going to go and start murdering innocent people in order to relieve the stress of such a shitty experience... or I might train my new Raichu up some more. Haven't decided yet.

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It's been a long time coming for me to get my Prince of Persia retrospective review finished. Why? Because I started playing Warrior Within and felt the need to just not play it. Why? Because the game just screams... well... I'll get into that later. Fact is, this review isn't fully finished. I didn't finish the trilogy because I'm stuck in the middle game for reasons soon to be explained. Let's get started.

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, was, indeed, a good game. In fact, it was probably my definition of a perfect platformer. The character seems realistic where he dies from falling too far and easily gets killed by many of the death traps. Also, he has an actual personality that makes you hate him for being a bit self-centered but also find him somewhat funny as a sarcastic dipshit. Along with him is the spunky young "slave girl" who is both very sexy and very interesting to listen to, especially in conversation with the prince himself. To overcome most of the death you will inevitably face, you are given the ability to rewind time with the power of the "Sands of time". This is an excellent feature and one of the few reasons why I loved this game so much. Time control is a power that I view to be the best of all of them. If a person has the right type of time control, they are undefeatable. Simply put, if I can manipulate time enough to go to when my enemy was born (or even conceived) he doesn't exist if I decide to make it so. Some time control is weaker than others where you only slow down time or freeze time. These are still very useful and amazing powers which make one invincible against those who can't do shit about it. That's why I view Shadow the Hedgehog, Prince of Persia, and Time Wizard (from Yu-Gi-Oh) to be some of the better fictional characters since they manipulate time in some way or another. Also, Back to the Future Trilogy was one of the better movies to ever be produced into a trilogy format.

Enough of that. Other aspects that made Sands of Time great was the actual platforming of the game. Jumping from wall to wall and climbing over shit. It's like Mario but better because it seems more realistic and fun. I also like the ability to run on walls. In fact, that is probably my favorite ability in any game other than total destruction of everything and time control. The reason for that is because wall running seems like something I could do in real life (if I were in good shape and stupid). Many cool characters can run on walls to get from point A to point B and I know two popular icons (Mario and Link) who can't. F*ck, Link can't even jump so why the hell are we still talking about him in all this?

One thing that Sands of Time doesn't really work well on is the combat. Sure, it is fun, but almost all your enemies reappear hundreds of times and the combat seems to be about the same every time. It isn't that it is bad, it is just boring. Combat is just the same thing every time and it is a problem that made me tired of the game for a bit. The platforming was what kept me from flat out leaving it because it was so well done.

Sands of Time's little brother, on the other hand, has other issues. Much like Sands of Time, the game, Warrior Within, has nice scenery and the platforming is still well put together. Hell, even combat was improved to have more combos and they varied it up a lot to make it more enjoyable... or so you'd think. Despite better controls and abilities in combat, the platforming didn't improve (not that they left much room for that anyway) and the platforming didn't really, to me anyway, occur as much as the annoying combat sequences.

I say annoying because, despite excellent new additions to combat, it still played like balls. Enemies will swarm you more in this game and they even have more projectiles for your bare back to get stabbed a lot. You don't have any help for a good portion of the game so you don't have any archer support like you did from your very sexy female companion in Sands of Time. What disgusted me the most was the fact that all your enemies seem to either scream blood-curdling screams or they sounded like masochists and actually seemed to be getting off on my slashing them to death. I found both disturbing and annoying. Yes, much of this game seems to have taken "The Emo Song" too seriously and started doing all the annoying shit those goth kids around your high school are probably doing now.

I wish I could have gotten further in Warrior Within to get to the Two Thrones. From what I gathered, Two Thrones has the gameplay of both games packed into one with the subtraction of decent writing for the characters as well as poor character development on the part of Farah (the sexy and spunky young archer from Sands of Time). I doubt I would have cared too much (but maybe I would have) in which case, I guess these games are only steps away from perfect that they cannot achieve since games like Portal, StarFox, and Prototype just set that bar a little too high. Speaking of which, stay tuned for my Prototype review shortly after a word from Silver Uchiha.

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There is a pattern I've noticed throughout history which I plan on pointing out to you here in just a moment. But first, what's going on now with Iran. If you recall, there was an election held not too long ago. It was the challenger who represented change (some angry guy with a beard) vs. the incumbent president (the other angry guy with the beard). The youth vote seemed to be pulling for the challenger, and it appeared to be something that could have easily been a landslide victory. The votes were cast and less than twelve hours later, the results magically appeared and showed the opposite results that everyone around the world had been anticipating.

Since then, Iran has had nothing but riots. The media from around the world is now banned to record what takes place in Iran as the riots continue. Protests seem to take place every day and, from what various videos that HAVE been leaked show us, rights are being stripped away as protesters get beat down. I suppose this should have been expected and one could guess that this will lead to a revolution which will change Iran for years to come. It may not (and probably will not) escalate to war but just a diplomatic thing. There is a possibility for it to be war, but most are hoping and predicting it will remain peaceful.

This leads me to my point. When people become whiney bitches, a revolution happens and changes things. Yes, I agree that this whole election seems rigged and that the other angry guy with the beard probably cheated, but that doesn't mean that the people aren't bitching about it. I'm on their side in this matter but just let me explain. Think back to the French Revolution. That was another justified revolution in which the country was getting poor because of various debts and a drought that started a famine to make things worse. In order to fix the problems, the nobles wanted to raise taxes on the lower class (and the middle class). Tired of being treated like shit, the middle class starts to bitch and make demands. Everyone starts talking and things seem to start looking better for people's rights (despite the fact a famine continues during their talks). We all know how that went down as one of the bloodiest revolutions in history. All because someone acted shitty and someone else had to bitch about it rather than just leave.

One seemingly UN-justifiable revolution is the American Revolution. Go ahead and find those socks of yours that just blew off, I'll wait. I am a patriotic person and I think America is a decent country when we aren't being a bully or a pussy. However, like most things that can be considered good nowadays (even though I would like to argue the religion point of view) there is a stupid or dark past to America that makes you think differently. Before George Washington fought for colonial freedom, he fought with the English in the French-Indian War. It was a war where the English and some Native Americans fought the French... and their Native American friends. Being beating a lot, the English decided to ask their colonists for help. The colonists told the English to f*ck off because it wasn't really their fight. When England offered to pay them, then they grabbed their guns and joined the fight.

You see, after that war, England shipped out and realized that they had accumulated some war debt that wasn't entirely too favorable for their tastes. Instead of piddling around with it for a while and letting it blow out of proportion like the French did, England decided to deal with it quickly. The deduced that the most logical thing to do would be to impose small taxes on the colonists since it was fought on their behalf, on their land, and (essentially) for them. The taxes were, indeed, very small. In fact, we probably would think little of it today. America decides they don't like the idea of having to pay their share and BITCH about it.

England didn't quite understand, as their approach is both reasonable and simple. America didn't understand why England doesn't understand because they just want to be able to run themselves without having to deal with England at all. You see, America had it okay for a bit and then they bitched about it. It caused a war and then they were on their own. Now look. We're being run by a guy who will probably screw things up far worse than most other presidents have before.

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Time to review [Prototype]. Before I begin, I was prepared to bash this game so much that you would be sitting in your chair, cheetos in hand, laughing at how ridiculous a game like this could possibly be. Sadly, after playing the game for a mere half an hour, I was awestruck by how epic it was. But I summed up all my feelings for this game in a single paragraph then I am not much of a writer or a critic so let's at least pick apart some aspects of this game in hopes that it sucks.

You play as a guy named Alex Mercer. He can't remember a thing about himself (much like Shadow the Hedgehog). However, during some cut scenes, he says how he wants revenge for... whatever is happening (much like Shadow the Hedgehog). So it is up to over-powered Alex Mercer to steal vehicles and jack weapons to defeat his enemies in both the military and guys who look like aliens (much like Shadow the Hedgehog). The city, as it turns out, has been infected with some kind of virus transforming many residents into... mutant/zombie/alien/things... (much like Resident Evil and Left 4 Dead). Alex Mercer must stop the military from doing its stupid shit while also saving the city from whatever is killing it before time runs out (much like the combination of games said above). The plot of this game is far from original, as you may have guessed, but it does seem to flow together well and makes the game interesting to see how it all plays out. But no one bought this game for the story so let's get into the other things that make the game worth checking out.

Much like God of War, Alex Mercer has the ability to not only fight, but fight so well that just about anything around him is dead... or at least they would be in the controls were intuitive enough to realize you want to run and slash rather than roll or walk or some stupid shit. I suppose the one thing this game adds that Shadow the Hedgehog, God of War, Resident Evil, or Left 4 Dead fail to bring to the table is that Prototype is a sandbox game. Not only that, it is a very GOOD sandbox game. For those unfamiliar with the term, let me explain. A sandbox game is a game that allows you to explore the big city you are playing in and doing whatever you want (which is what, apparently, made Grand Theft Auto so good). What makes a GOOD sandbox game is that you have a big city and means to get around the big city really quickly. You can do all the side missions if you want to and you're bored and have more free time than anything else. I chose to avoid them because Prototype has a nasty habit of giving you a lot of side missions to work with but only a few of them can be done reasonably well because of very, frustratingly short, time limits.

Much like Shadow the Hedgehog, I question the need for the many vehicles (two) that you can pilot/drive as well as the need for the weapons that are given to you as an option. I mean, tanks are understandable for destroying buildings and helicopters are not only fun but a great way to destroy buildings from the sky. But why do I need a bunch of guns? The only gun that I can easily access on the street is an automatic gun and it shoots like crap. All the good weapons are past the many defenses I need a weapon to get to anyway. Once I get the good weapon, the need for going to get it becomes pointless. Also, automatic targeting is hard to work with. If you want to shoot or grab certain things, you need to manually target or you'll end up shooting the gum on the soldier's shoe instead of the detector device which will then alert the marines that you are nearby and then you have missiles up your ass.

Much like Resident Evil or Left 4 Dead, you have the whole infected thing going on. That is explained in the story by conveniently saying a little girl infected everyone so they made Alex, apparently, to fight it or some shit. So, I guess, this game rips off F.E.A.R. a little bit too with a little girl being the villain and you playing as a super soldier with a mind of his own. But I question why they have to be "infected" whatever happened to just straight up zombies in a zombie game? I suppose the reason I could think of is that the writers of the games want there to be a possible "happy ending" to the big game so if we make it a curable infection, then everything will be okay. If it is straight up zombification, then the souls are lost and there is no happy conclusion. I suppose some Christianity views on zombification also plays a role into it, but that's a debate for another day against another zealot who argues my logic with their flawed beliefs.

Before I conclude, there is one great thing about this game for a while. The stealth aspect is probably the most fun in any game of recent memory. You can actually hide well for a good portion of the game without being caught (if you are good and patient). Also, you can very easily fight your way out of being caught should you need to. Stealth just adds bonus points and makes you look cool for being sneaky. What really sucks is when the difficulty curve spikes up towards the end. Combat becomes more annoying with more infected monsters coming at you at once. Running from the military gets shittier because they chase you A LOT LONGER than they ever did before. I think the worst part is that the sneaking aspect because so difficult I might as well be Altair from Assassin's Creed with several daggers on my back wherever I go. Once you get to a certain point in the game, the military bases all start getting double the amount of detectors so getting in becomes much harder. Also, some of those detectors are mobile and find you a lot faster and better than the stationary ones. It gets worse when they add the super-soldiers than can find you and actually kick your ass rather well if you aren't ready for them. All-in-all, the stealth is good until the ending parts of the game (where you need it a lot too, by the way).

Prototype is, in fact, a good game, despite some annoying flaws. If you have a computer that can run it, and I barely can, then you'll enjoy this masterpiece of gaming since most games anymore are uninspired sequels, remakes, or shit. If it wasn't so flawed, this game would be my number one game of all time. As it stands, it just breaks the top ten. It has a lot of things I like with just a few minor specks of imperfection that keep it from getting the top rank. If you can't play it, at least check out some online videos of it on Youtube. It really is a game that I recommend for game of the year, thus far.

Welcome to another fine installment of the Uchiha Rant. First off, sorry we have been getting this up later (like on Mondays) rather than weekends, but with work, I find it hard to get time to help put it all together so DExM and Fluffy kindly wait for me. Also, we will be putting our first two Uchiha Rant videos up within the month. We just need to make the second one, format it, and so on. It should turn out fine, we hope. But that's later and this is NOW! Today, we have me talking about how bad people really are (celebrities in general). DExM will discuss the latest shit to hit the fan in Iran. I'm back to talk about we should treat our friend GM. Then Fluffy returns with a surprise... and actual review! ZOMG! It can only be the UCHIHA RANT!
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I was going to write about how I entered a Pokémon Wifi league, how I was trying to convince others to join in, and how my Drapion leveled up a lot alongside my Blaziken and how they really kick ass. But instead, I want to talk about something I saw on the internet (NOT PORN). I signed on to AOL to check my mail. In the center of the page, it said something about how Al Roker made someone cry on the Today Show. Being curious and a fan of Al, I decided to check it out and see what exactly happened.

Well, the story was about that new show that is on NBC. You know, that pants-on-head-retarded show about how if you put some celebrities in the middle of a jungle that they'll start killing each other for attention and possibly food. I think it is called "I'm a Celebrity! Get Me Outta Here!" It is essentially Celebrity Survivor, only Jeff Probst has enough dignity not to let his good name touch crap like that. The show seems to have a completely flawed premise about it uses celebrities because we, as normal human beings, would rather see our celebrities in short segments doing something embarrassingly stupid rather than make themselves look even worse than what we had already imagined. That's why I find Japanese game shows so entertainingly fun because they're random, gimmicky, pointless, and embarrass anyone who even attempts to get on the show to the point where they could piss their pants and it wouldn't add anymore embarrassment because they've already peaked at how embarrassed one can actually get.

On the moronic celebrity show, two people (a married couple) made a huge scene and it showed how selfish, evil, and stupid they really are. I'd call THEM pants-on-head-retarded, but I feel I'd insult that whole demographic by looping in crappy celebrities like them into their group. They are... the... Pratts (Brats) named Heidi and Spencer. I've never heard of them before now and I, quite frankly, don't give a damn about them now or probably ever will. On the show they were selfish, rude, seemingly violent, whiney, and they made selves to be "the best celebrities out there and the most famous celebrities out there"... according to the clip.

I continued watching the clip to see how Al made these horrible people cry. They didn't cry. Al was merely trying to get them to admit some kind of remorse but they kept dodging his questions and making the case about how awesome they were. BULL SHIT! It was so mind numbingly idiotic how they kept going on about how great they were that even Al had to cut the interview short to spare them the embarrassment of looking even more like jackasses. After watching that, I suddenly realized why I had lost faith in mankind, because we let people like that get our attention, have some kind of power, let their opinions sway the weak minded, and so on. This is just another Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan thing again where shitty people do shitty things to point out how shitty people really are at times.

I know I've bashed celebrities before, but this really takes the cake. Check out this link: http://www.popeater.com/television/art icle/al-roker-roasts-heidi-and-spencer /527346?icid=main
and-spencer%2F527346 for the full story (highlight and copy to your search engine if you need to). I feel bad for Al Roker having to put up with shit like that. Now on to DExM for the latest out of Iran.

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DExM here (in America) talking about the latest hostility (in Iran). Recently, late last week in fact, there was an election held in Iran to determine the new president. The youth vote was anticipated to make the big change with a new leader and change up all of Iran. Sadly, it did not happen. Somehow, the former president of Iran remains to be the current president of Iran. This did not strike well for those in Iran who wanted a regime change (which was more than you would expect). Now... I don't know how the guy won if so many people got pissed off. Maybe the ballots were rigged. Maybe foreign media did get too involved and, in turn, make it seem a little more skewed than what was really happening. Maybe, like in a good episode of "The Simpsons", the youth voters thought they had this in the bag and didn't vote because they didn't think they'd need to and that everyone else on their side had it covered. (In case you didn't know, Martin beat Bart by only two votes because of that. Two to Zero).

So what does this mean for Iran now? Well... there are two options. One of which is like what happened to France in the late 1700's and have a very violent and bloody war (revolution) to change their nation's face and gain the freedoms everyone thinks they deserve (and probably do). The other, more likely option, is just a flat out revolt against the government, which could still turn violent, but will be mostly diplomatic for a while. I'm sure Obama will be more than glad to step in and aid Iran if he needs to. I know that Fluffy and Silver would strongly oppose the idea but I think lending a hand if we can would be a wise thing to do. Granted, we should probably send someone with good foreign policy experience to aid Obama as well.

What's gonna happen? At this point, it is up in the air. All I can say is that is all I have for you today. I don't have much information to go on with this. Next week, Fluffy will get my spot because he'd doing a double review for a simple fact that both games involve some level of wall running and that he has been long past due on one of them. See ya in a few weeks! DExM over and out.

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Surprise! Surprise! Just when I was expect for a notable company to fall under the pressure the economy has produced on it, Obama-Man comes and saves the day (if you can call it that). By waving a magical wand where the taxpayer's money flies out of his ass, he keeps the company (this one being GM) from dying a reasonable and probably necessary death. I am sorry if I don't sound sympathetic for a company that was about to go under, but you all saw DExM's piece last week. The company was being run by a room filled with poo-flinging monkeys (so to speak). GM lacks any innovation, they didn't prepare for situations like this (like Ford DID!), and they just suck at life and need to die.

I'm a broken record about this but let's be honest, I don't mind helping others. In fact, it is essentially what I do for a living. My friend, Chad, will beg to differ and say I'm a selfish jackass (but that's mostly a political thing). I also don't mind paying higher taxes if the money goes to a cause I agree with and it is something that benefits everyone and not just a select group of people (i.e. the poor or the rich). However, I don't like helping people if all I am doing is encouraging their bad behavior because I'm stupid enough to continue helping them. I don't like giving more if I don't see any returns on what I am giving. Call it selfish if you want, but there comes a point in all my free-spirited giving when I have to stop and think how long it will be before I need some help instead of having to give it all the time.

In this case, GM is like a friend who can't seem to keep his life together. He's a f*cking mess and we all can see it from miles away. The worst part is that he is making terrible attempts to fix himself up, almost lazy and half-assed attempts, because he knows we (the taxpayer) will have his back because we're stupid enough to let someone like Obama mediate where the f*ck our money goes. People who disagree with me will say that Obama won't raise our taxes for all this spending. Fact, okay, you got me. But it isn't that he WON'T raise taxes on us. It is more that he can't raise taxes. I'm sure I pointed that out, but Bush's tax cuts remain in effect until a certain date. On top of that, anyone with a brain knows that increasing taxes during economic hardship is bad. Obama CAN'T raise taxes, so please do NOT confuse that with "WON'T". It will be our kids (my respective children and your respective children) that will pay the price and so on. Sure, I am probably thinking too far ahead, but why the f*ck should I condemn my potential future children to a lifetime of shittiness for my own sake when I could do what I can to make it at least enjoyable for both of us?

Like a good friend, we need to tell GM to shape up and fly right. Point over to Ford and say how they managed to keep together during this hard time because they thought ahead and prepared for something like this. We need to push GM in the right direction. Whether you agree with me and think that direction is off a lethally high cliff or not is up to you.

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I was going to be reviewing a game trailer for the newest of games that was released this week called "[Prototype]" because I hadn't gotten too far in any other game to give a decent review of it and because I didn't have anything else to review to fill this section. But the divine powers of... something decided to give me a favor by not only giving me something to actually review but also allowing me to get the game (as well as several others) without too much hassle so I can review them later. As I write this, I want you to know how hard it was to stop destroying whatever I wanted in [Prototype] in order to get here to write this. So let's get this review out of the way as I have more military bases to infiltrate and consume the shit out of.

The movie I saw earlier this week was called "Hangover". It came out last Friday but since it is cheaper to go on Tuesdays and I'm usually busy on weekends, I couldn't get it reviewed for last week. Luckily I plan on attending the opening premier for Transformers 2 so I can get that review out almost right away and I know how excited you'll be for that one. Course, I'm more excited to play games like "Oblivion", "[Prototype]", "No More Heroes", and many more. However I also have to assist Silver in the technical shit for his summer schooling. Unlike those of us who have easier to manage schedules, he couldn't get enough classes last semester so he's adding a couple over summer to balance it out. The ability to play games and review them, on my end, is sometimes a bit of a problem.

As you'll notice, I'm on the third paragraph and I haven't even gotten to the movie. It's not really much to talk about. You can get the whole premise in the title. I suppose I should stay on topic though or this is just some guy rambling about not being able to play a new game he got. Essentially, "Hangover" is another typical movie you can go on any typical day to see with your typical friends after doing your typical things. Like all comedy-movie-clones, the movie has your straight guy who disappears for half the film, your suave guy that gets you into as much trouble as he seems to get you out of, the panicky nerd guy who I probably could relate to best, and the retarded guy who does most of the stupid shit to get you into most of the messes in the first place. The plot: they go to Vegas, they get drugged, they wake up and remember nothing, and then they take a magical (not so magical) journey through Vegas trying to figure out where their missing friend is while remembering what the f*ck happened the night before.

The full-frontal male nudity was pleasingly lower than what I had originally expected and the top female nudity was... meh. But I didn't go for the nudity, I went because one of my friends said it would be an awesome movie to watch. Admittedly, it wasn't bad. It was just stupid. Course, most comedy movies of these recent days are aiming for the audience with an intelligence that would embarrass a turkey. Yes, there are some funny moments in this film and it even takes a couple of stabs at intelligent humor with various references to historical figures and world leaders. But, like most modern comedies, it tends to fall on the same jokes about sex, race, and so on. I suppose it is stupid to complain about that if I still got a good laugh, but to have to rely on the same jokes every time just gets old fast. What I'm getting at, is that saying "f*ck" a lot isn't funny, it's depressing because the person obviously has a f*cked up vocabulary where "f*ck" is the f*cking word of the f*cking day on their f*cking "word-of-the-day" f*cking calendar. ... F*CK!

Okay. I didn't want to talk about it but today's rant will be about a topic I was hoping to drop but now it has surfaced back and is biting me on the ass hard enough where if I don't take a smack at it then I won't get rid of it. So, today, I'm going to talk about how I fail to understand the complexities of life and also some news on Obama. DExM will discuss about the latest in car dealership problems. Then Fluffy will wrap things up with... hell if I know. He still hasn't started his reviews for SIMS 3, Sands of Time Trilogy, No More Heroes, or anything else. Doubt he'll get anything done, really. Let's go!!!

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I'm going to sound whiney for a little bit but it is a slow news week and I've lost my patience with this issue because it is just so motherf*cking irritating. In addition, comments are being moderated at Newgrounds because I know someone will be posting something stupid. For the record, I had a major conflict in writing this because I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to. In the end, however, I've decided to post it for two reasons. One, it brings some good points. Two, I couldn't think of anything else to write and I'm exhausted. XD.

Why is it that some guys can go up to a girl and charm her enough to get into bed with her in the same night while I, on the other hand, can't even get a girl to like me within a week? I'm always told I'm funny, nice, and other things but apparently that isn't enough. There was this one girl, I sort of got closer to recently. She liked me, I liked her, and things went along swimmingly. I even asked her out, she said yes, and I thought things were too perfect to be true.

As it turns out, I was right. I think there is some new fad going around where girls accept dates but before the date happens, they suddenly do a 180 on your ass and decide to pursue other avenues. All the while, I sit there and ask what the f*ck just happened and why the hell did she suddenly vanish? I wouldn't be so frustrated if it wasn't for the fact it was so pointlessly random. It seems like everything was great... then... it stopped being great. I don't get where, in there, it stopped being great or why it stopped being great. This isn't the first time this happened. I asked another girl out at work. She said yes and the same turn of events happened again. The difference was that she lost contact with me and then lost interest. She lost contact (apparently) because she got grounded and got her phone taken away.

The first time it happened, that made some sense... in a way. The more recent time is still like that murder mystery I haven't solved because I still suspect Old Man Jenkins who runs the haunted amusement park. As it truly turns out, Old Boyfriend Joe Cool is what made the situation do a 180 and f*ck itself sideways (so to speak). From what I understood, they broke up and for legitimate reasons and now their back together which tramples over everything I was hoping for... and that one organ that keeps your blood flowing that I think I may have sold to the devil by now.

Now I feel like a pawn in their whole thing rather than an actual player. I don't even feel like a useful pawn either. Just that pawn that is kind of sitting there and waiting for shit to go down. Excuse me if my body isn't as good as his and excuse me if I'm not as charismatic and awesome as someone else. I am who I am and I thought, based off everything I had learned about her, was almost perfect for her. I thought we'd be good for each other and as it turns out I'm stuck here whining when I should probably be in the shower getting ready to go to work.

You know what? I'm just going to not care anymore. I'm just going to go through life wanting something I can't have because I'm not good enough for it. Honestly, I didn't want to talk about this here because it is of a personal nature and because I know it will come back to haunt me at some point. But, for the love of god, even you (referring to her) should see that I am making a somewhat credible point, right? But, like I said, I stopped giving a f*ck after the third sentence of this piece and just kept typing for the hell of it. Next up is DExM and his thing about the car industry.

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DExM here, and I'll be brief because I'm sure the news on this issue will change within an hour of typing it. As we all are aware by now, the car industry has been having problems for what seems like eons now. Sure, their bigger problems started within the past year or so. However, if you really think about it, the car companies have been in trouble for years. They have been competing poorly in a market that foreign car makers have been winning without a problem. Why? Because foreign car makers know what the consumer wants and the American industry stopped caring after it got rich in the early to mid 1900's.

It is because of that, that GM, Chrysler, and Ford took on "Nintendo" syndrome. This means that after doing so well that they could buy a small country and name it "Retard-Land", they stopped become truly innovative and just kept spewing the same stuff out on the market over and over to the consumers. Sure, every decade or so, a new idea might come along. The thing is you can't run a company successfully like that forever. At some point, someone will come up with a better idea and then you're left with nowhere to go... but car-industry hell.

What's worse is that not only did these companies sell the same products year after year and just keep adding small features that only whiney little bitches who need to have everything a certain way care about... essentially your mom. Sorry, I got off topic there. But the car industry can't rely on your mom forever so they came up with an idea to get other people's moms involved. Each company already has various branches. Why not release the exact same car in different branches under different names and claim they do different things when they really don't. This not only wasted money and effort, but it should have shown us that our car industry is so unimaginative that it doesn't deserve to live.

So now the car dealers are given only so many days to clear their lots or they're going to be closed so the companies can try to stay alive. I feel bad for those at the dealerships because they didn't do anything bad to deserve the mess they are in right now. I hate the union workers for pricing themselves so high and making such ridiculous demands that they essentially are the reason the company can't support itself. I blame the higher ups for not only caving INTO the unions like the pussies they are, but also because they failed to make their companies stand out and do something bold and creative to win the market again and relive the mid 1900s.

The bailouts were a good idea but they aren't enough to save these soon to die companies. Instead, we should have just let these guys go because they're not bringing anything new to the table. I know this sounds like something Silver and Fluffy would say, but they're right. It would cause massive job loss, but I think we'd be better for it, in the end.

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There are a lot of things going on that are Obama related right now and most of them involve foreign nations and how we're interacting with them. As some of you may recall from an earlier Uchiha Rant, Obama gave off a bad impression with his shitty gift giving to the Queen of England. I get a feeling that England will probably hate us for years to come after this presidency is over. Why? Allow me to explain.

Recent events have thrown Obama into the Middle East (or so I've been told) where he is giving a speech about... (who gives a f*ck) because... (who gives a shit)... Yeah. I don' know those details because I stopped caring what Obama had to say when all his speeches seemed to use the word "Change" every other word. Saying you'll change things is good but if you don't deliver then you haven't changed politics, you are just reliving the same bullshit that we're dealing with every day.

Stop. I'm not going to keep criticizing the same thing over and over again. I'll "CHANGE" and criticize something new and more interesting. It is one thing to piss off people who hate us and who are our enemies because it seems like we can just break wind politely and they'll still throw a fit about it. When it comes to our allies though, it takes a lot to piss them off enough to have them start hating us. The best example is England. Obama's foreign-speech-thing is a big world-wide thing and someone was omitted from the guest list to attend.

That's right. England was snubbed again because Obama forgot to put them on the guest list until the last minute. Instead of all the important "dignitaries" coming to the speech-thing, only the prince is willing to come, or so it seems. Mr. Obama, I hate to criticize you (not really) but it seems like your idea of foreign-policy is to be a dick to your friends and treat your enemies to a party. History shows that... well it doesn't because no one has ever been that spineless, retarded, and idiotic. Showing your teeth to the enemy and acting nice to them is like going up to the school bully and willingly handing him your lunch money out of the charity of your heart. It isn't going to teach that little shit anything except that he is feared and you're a F*CKING PUSSY!

All that aside, I feel really bad for England lately for several reasons. I mean, yes I hate the fact they came to America and wiped out a large sum of the Native American population when they settled here, but I hate most of Europe for that. The reason I feel really bad lately is because, in my college history class, Europe was taxing the American colonies for a good reason. England came and fought a war against the French on American soil. Because the English felt like America had the most to benefit, they should have to pay a bit more than jolly-old-England when it comes to paying the war debt. The colonies were still English citizens so it made sense. The colonists were just being those same unruly teenagers that say, "F*ck you, I can do whatever I want!" War broke loose, we kicked England's ass, and so on.

What I'm trying to say is that despite all the years that have gone by, we are still treating England like a bunch of dicks. Despite all of the "CHANGE" Obama promised, we're still doing what we did back in the 1700s... only a more scaled down version where we aren't going to kill anyone, we're just giving them a slightly cold shoulder.

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Fluffy here... and... I really don't have a review for you. I could talk about the latest episodes and chapters of Naruto because they're actually starting to get good again after weeks of shittyness. I won't because I get the feeling most people stopped caring around the time that Naruto was dubbed badly and he was claiming to be a ninja despite always wearing ORANGE, BELIEVE IT!

That aside, I really don't have much to talk about because I'm playing SEVERAL games in order to get SEVERAL reviews within the coming weeks going. However, work has been a bit of a bitch lately so I hadn't had a good chance this week to do so. Next week I have virtually nothing going on so I suppose I'll do it then. Speaking of being a bitch, there are certain people I wish I could talk to in order to beat sense into their heads but Silver won't let me because he's too nice and still cares for her enough to not let some psychotic like me beat the stupid out of people.

I guess, since we're all bored, I'll talk about the upcoming series we're attempting to start. We want to make a video version of the Uchiha Rant in a manner similar to a newscast. I'm not sure if we'll get to it if our schedules continue to be uncoordinated, but we can still try. That doesn't mean we are going to neglect the Online-Journal version (the word "blog" is for faggots) it just means we'll have not only another media to work with, but another site to spout our insanity on to. Overall, it sounds like a win-win situation.

Um... that's it. I've got nothing for you. I suppose I could give a brief review of a new series I've stumbled across online called "Unforgotten Realms". It is on the escapist.com and it is a funny series, which parodies Dungeons & Dragons rather well. I really don't want to tell too much about it because I don't want to sound like an expert on something that makes so little sense. Seriously. This thing is completely devoid of plot after a while and it seems rather random and chaotic. That doesn't mean the humor is any worse. No, sir! The humor, to me, is like a roller coaster of good to bad to good again over and over. Certain episodes have left me in stitches while other episodes have left me bored enough to inflict pain upon myself... which will, in turn, leave me in stitches.

So if you, like me, become bored because you only have about ten minutes before going off to work and starting a game is a bad idea at this point, then go to the escapist.com and watch an episode of "Unforgotten Realms". If it doesn't make you laugh then there is something seriously wrong with you.

SILVER STUDIOS presents - THE UCHIHA RANT... by Silver Uchiha
Hello!
Another week has gone by and I still don't feel any chipper than I'd like to be. No amazing perfect girl by my side, no better job lined up for me to stop wasting time slaving in a kitchen, and no helicopter to ride in that would make things so f*cking awesome. I know, I'm being depressing but things have not been great lately. They have ceased getting shittier all the time, but they're not great. For those of you on the MySpace version of the rant, please read the "Pre-Rant" post for more information on all that. It is located just below this post. For those not on the MySpace rant... Hey. Haven't seen you in a while. For your pleasure, we have the following topics. Obama picks a new horseman (Justice) for his Armageddon (Liberal Supreme Court). DExM covers the recently enlarging debate of how marriage is going gay. I'm back to talk about Korea's attempt to be important. Then Fluffy reviews last year's supposed "Game of the Year" Civilization IV. We're back here on the UCHIHA RANT!!!

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Good day, this is Silver. Another president comes in another Supreme Court Justice retires. Everyone was wondering whether we'd get a democrat into the white house before SCJ - David Scouter retired or not. As it turns out, we did and so David is deciding to retired and live the good life as an old man on the beaches of Florida and try to pick up other decrepit chicks before death comes to claim him. I'm sure the party with the other court justices will be pretty boring since they're all getting on in age... except for the newer one that Bush appointed shortly before his last term ended. Despite all the possible festivities, David's retirement means more evil political agendas are at work. The republicans are going to try to undermine the court from democrat control so that they can say that they have something, at least. But with Obama in charge (and the fact that what the republicans what is impossible at this point) it is up to Obama to decide who goes in the seat to replace David.

Critics (and people with common sense) agree that Obama's choice will be more liberal and possibly more influential over the Supreme Court than anyone else. This isn't random speculation, but cold HARD FACT! Yes, of course the person will be more liberal because when Obama was in congress he was considered to be the MOST liberal person in congress. All this "across-the-aisle" and "bipartisan cooperating" is just him spewing his political bile so that everyone feels included. Mr. President, if I wanted bile all over my shoes I'd feed my new puppy spicy table scraps instead of listening to you talk for hours about nothing.

So who are the possibly candidates running (being selected) for the soon to be vacant seat? One of which is Sonia Sotomayor. She is a Hispanish woman from... um... New York apparently. Sotomayor is apparently the front runner for the seat right now. Currently, she is being questioned and investigated by the government and the senate in order to see if she is qualified. Also, according to my updated source, she is Puerto Rican. Since she is the super-liberal candidate that was mostly likely to be picked by the former super-liberal of the senate, I don't find this too surprising. Another candidate is Elena Kagan, which is a last name that sounds horribly familiar as if I knew someone with that name from school. The last name on the list in front of me is Diane Wood. As I'm sure you've noticed, most of these candidates are female. For those of you who aren't paying attention *claps hands* OI!

Yes, it would seem that Obama is taking the recommendation of David and is probably going to select a new applicant from the female demographic for the seat. This isn't too surprising since he did pass that equal pay for equal work bill to make women feel better all around the world. I'm not sexist or anything, I'm just pointing out that this is what he has done (or will do) and who it impacts (and how it impacts). If any of that came off as sarcastic, I apologize ahead of time.

I agree what Obama is doing is, overall, a good thing. I find this odd because every other decision he has made up to now has been horribly bad or will turn out horribly bad when we look back on this all in twenty years (if we live that long). I think what is really going on is that Obama wants to appeal to the women demographic for his next election in 2012. You can say I'm being a bit too distrustful of him, but, for god's sake, the man guest starred on Leno during his first 100 days of office while we were still in a f*cking economic crisis that hasn't yet dissipated. You can't tell me he isn't just stumping for reelection early in case he f*cks up something awful in the next three years.

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Greetings... this is DExM. As I'm sure you've noticed on the news reports, Gay Marriage (or Homosexual Marriage) has been the topic of debate for some time now. Certain states, like here in Iowa, are making it legal. Other states, like California, are trying to ban it again while the people revolt and want it legal once more. It is a never ending battle to decide if two guys who like it in the bum can hitch up or not (or in the case of women... whatever they do... not going to get into that now.

Anyway, I'm a supporter of gay marriage. Fluffy is hardcore against it and Silver is just impartial to it entirely. So why do I support it? Because to say that people in love cannot be married is like an infringement to free speech. If I loved someone, I would want to be able to marry him or her and prove that I am fully committed to him or her (white, black, male, female, dog, etc). If we start infringing on our rights, then how can we say we really are a free country?

Other reasons why Gay Marriage is something I support, is because most of the people who are against it are against it for religious reasons. I am a very religious person. I won't say what particular house I worship right now, but unlike most religious peoples, I attempt to keep an open mind. Besides, if whatever god you worship truly disliked gays, why should you step in and stop them? If it truly is something bad, it will be judged as bad in the afterlife. For us, on earth, to judge it here and now is not really our call.

For those bigots who still aren't following, let me propose this idea. Most of you think that AIDS is most easily spread through homosexual relations, right? Well, what if these gay people decided that instead of going out and having sex with different people all the time, to get married and stick with just one person. That prevents AIDS from becoming a worse problem. I don't like thus argument, but if it shuts up those who are just biased for no reason, then who cares?

In short, I hope that Gay Marriage becomes something that can be a nationwide thing. It brings in more money to whatever state legalizes it and it lets people be happy, if only for such simple reasons. Intolerance is something that has become a big issue with so many things in America (which I find ironic because we are a mix of every culture on the whole planet). I'm hoping that with a president such as Obama, we can overcome some of these intolerances and be a nation of better people. That's my piece. Back to you Silver.

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Silver, again. If we look back in time, the title of "World Super Power" has shifted hands quite a bit. Egyptians had it for a while. Then the Greeks got hold of it until they went to shit and Romans, who still hold the record of longest reign, got the title. After a lot of invasions and empires collapsing, it struggled all around Europe for a while. Eventually new countries were established, rather than just random regions on a map with indeterminable boundaries, in order to help us tell who actually had power and who actually didn't. Biggest contenders for a good while were Spain, Britain, France (who honestly don't deserve recognition), and Germany. There were some other big names too, but who cares?

It wasn't until WWI that we, America, got the whole "Super Power" title along with Russia (Soviet Union at the time). Sure, we were badass for a while but we didn't really shine until the World Wars broke out and it was up to us to save our backwards, European cousins. To prove that it wasn't a fluke, we did it again in WWII and then held the title until now when we look more like a "Super Villain" rather than just a "Super Power". Since people think that Obama is some kind of god or something, it won't be long until we are considered the good guys again. Until then, we have to worry about other people contending for that title.

China seems to be a potential candidate for the next big Super Power. They have a massive army of billions of chain smokers with the body-build of a twig. Get enough of them together and we could probably have a mass army of tiny Asians invading us by mid-afternoon... oh... wait, they're still a rather backwards country with all sorts of problems like communism. I'm sure we'll be fine for a while. We have bigger guns anyway. India would be a credible threat if it wasn't for the fact that we give them most of our jobs and shit. They're cool to us and we're cool to them... for now.

Some could make the case for one of the Middle Eastern nations we're all fighting over for some reason. I even could see where one is coming from there. They have a lot of oil we, as a global economy, need for the time being. They have some potentially good weapons that are a potential creditable threat, and they have some strange religion where they have over the top rituals that make no sense (not too much different from any other one actually). You have to look at it from another angle to realize how flawed that idea is though. Iraq is sort of on our side after us helping them out and not leaving. They don't love us, but they still don't hate us completely. Egypt, Israel, and a couple other nations are fine with us so long as we don't touch them too much. Iran might be the only one over there for consideration but since their leader is the biggest dick-tater, alive right now, I'm sure we'll have no problems with him for a while. When one goes about saying the Holocaust didn't happen, it shows how intelligent he really is and that leads me to suspect he isn't smart enough to equip his nation with any real power to be any real threat.

What I'm trying to point out is that with all the potential candidates out there, very few will be able to qualify. India might if we think they're cool enough but they seem content as just a background character for the time being. Korea (who I have been trying to get to) is the only one who is currently making big strides to becoming a member of the Super-Nations-Elite. Sadly, every attempt so far has seemed to end in failure. Apparently, they have been testing some nuclear weapons of recent late and they have been successful. Obama is saying how this breaks some kind of treaty-agreement thing, but there is a logic that Korea is probably going to use saying, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". It is that kind of attitude, which I respect. They want recognition. I say we give it to them if they can show us something credible. Thus far, all they've proven is that they're much like Team Rocket from Pokémon and that they're very rarely successful in their sinister plans to do... something.

But them becoming a super-power isn't the worst case scenario, apparently. Remember what I said about Iran possibly getting some power if their leader wasn't insanely thick? Well let's say that Korea does make successful weapons. What if they don't attack their neighbors (which would amount to about the same as a kid flinging poo at an old man neighbor with a shotgun) with these WMDs? What if they give them out as gifts to their long distance friends like people in the Middle East or another country that hates us (which could be just about anyone any more)? In that "Worst-Case Scenario" I could see things getting more potentially bad. At least if they want to be a super-power, there is a good chance that China, Russia, and Japan will keep them in their place for a while. If they want to make illegal trades to our enemies, it could be another story. But since this is all speculation, I'm going to stop here.

That's all for me today. Let's see what Fluffy has in store for us... I'm blasting off again.

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Fluffy, here. Today I will be reviewing Sid Meier presents "Sid Meier's Civilization IV"... by Sid Meier. It was a game I felt I was going to hate the moment I took it out of the box. The reasoning is because it sounds much like World of Warcraft where I'll end up spending hours of my life playing a game when my time could have been better spend writing a novel, finding a cure for cancer, getting laid, or pounding nails into my face. Nonetheless, I got the game as a gift and figured, since it was free, I might as well attempt it and hope to not be disappointed.

To start things off, I opened the box to discover that, much like World of Warcraft, it seems to be complex. But it isn't just complex, it is beyond complex. You start off with a thick game manual with a section that is called "Civilizationary" (Civilization-Dictionary and I actually think it was Civepedia) and that gave me a bad sign that I should read the manual before playing. The game also provides a hardcopy of a flowchart explaining the different government systems, monetary systems, and so on. So before installing this game, I was already filled with a sense of dread, as if I was about to make ANOTHER choice that I would regret.
After playing for about half an hour, I was already feeling the sting of a poor decision at hand. First off, it became abundantly clear I should have read the damned manual before playing so I could figure out what the f*ck I had to do. Unlike the quick paced shooting games I've played recently or the extremely simple Warcraft III I played not too long ago, this game has a lot of things going on that need explanation that no in-game tutorial gives (since there doesn't seem to be one) which means reading all the bullshit is sort of a requirement.

I attempted to wing it. My goal was to build a society where we have slavery, a militaristic government, and no religion at all. Problem was that the controls, menus and other motherf*ckery I had to deal with kept confusing me because I had to deal with figuring out what thing I click does what and how much of something I need gets me such and such. It took me a while to debate continuing or stopping to read what the hell to do. I went for option three of putting the game down and choosing to pick it up again the next time I'm bored out of my skull and feel like attempting to create a society that I can't torture like an evil god from the SIMS.

I've never played SIMS (regrettably) but the idea of being some kind of evil, god-like being who's only goal is to create a society and torture the people in it with whatever the f*ck you can think of sounds like fun. Civilization is a realistic game where you attempt to make a civilization and (essentially) rule the world. My friends who recommended it to me go on and on about how Civilization is a great game and I can spend hours playing it. You know what, maybe I'd rather spend an hour playing something like Portal which is more rewarding because I get cake... or survive! Maybe I'd rather play SIMS so I feel like that evil god. Maybe I'd rather play... um... Zelda because I can pretend to get laid by the princess after I rescue her. Never mind on that last one, nothing will ever make me willingly play a Zelda game unless it is just a new one to beat the stupid out of.

In short, Civ 4 looks to be a good game but good to those who like these kinds of games. I, personally, quickly discovered I rather dislike these games because they lack interest, laser beams (usually), and a plot that I care about. I stopped caring about the world years ago when I realized it was in a poor shape and it was doomed to go into another ice age at some point, no matter what we do (take that Al Gore). I especially stopped caring recently when Obama was elected as the Dark Messiah of the world and will probably be the one who ends the world with his idiotic policies and bad judgment. Oh well, I suppose I'll go play Left 4 Dead some more to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse that will probably follow Obama's presidency.

Well... life has pretty much buttf*cked me so hard that I can't even see straight anymore. I don't mean that in an erotic way either. I mean that in the, "oh my god, life suddenly started sucking again and things are just as bleak and meaningless as they ever were before" way. In case you were wondering, that girl I may have mentioned last week didn't really seem to work out... in the sense that I didn't work out for her. I was extremely depressed and incredibly frustrated at her at first, but then I decided that meaninglessly going after her in a cruel and sadistic fashion is something I don't want to be a part of. Instead, I'm going to take my misplaced aggression on things that deserve my aggression for many other reasons. Obama and bad movies are in my firing range so I think I'll go after them for a while. The topics of the day will be the "terrorist" attempt and then we will each cover a review of some kind in order to help Fluffy catch up on his work. The review are: Left 4 Dead, Arrested Development, and Angels and Demons.

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I heard about this yesterday shortly after the guys were caught. However I heard it through word of mouth and wasn't sure exactly what happened which led me to be confused. I had to go to my online news source to verify that what I heard happened had happened. Let me fill you in on the interesting story.

Apparently, there were some guys, terrorist-sympathizing-anti-American guys who felt like all we, as Americans, were not supposed to be in the Middle East (old news there). These people, feeling like we Americans are all evil, decide to go ahead and plot an attack on some synagogues up in NYC. I don't get the logic behind this completely. I mean, if you are against the war and want to make a dent in America's population, I doubt a synagogue is the best target. I'd say more like a Walmart or some other place where people congregate in large numbers and you could blend into a crowd easily no matter how ethnic you are.

Off topic there for a moment. Anyway, so these guys got their bombs from the FBI under guise as a terrorist supplier group Then these guys took all the bombs and tried to attack two of these temples of Jewish worship by blowing them up. To their surprise the bombs were all fake and the FBI moved in to catch them and detain them. I find the timing of this to all be rather ironic, since, right now, Obama and Cheney are in a heated debate over the GITMO situation. Obama wants GITMO closed because it makes us look good as Americans, which, admittedly, we probably do need. Cheney, taking a rather logical approach, makes the point that the criminals there are terrorists and that placing them in GITMO is the only good solution because it looks worse when we put them in our prisons, not to mention a lot riskier to both the terrorist detainees and the prisoners.

All I know is that people say the government never does its job. For once, there is proof with this botched semi-terrorist plot that the government does do something every now and again. Now if only the government would stop spending all of the money we have left on useless programs and projects and fix a lot of the problems that so desperately need fixing like the economy, education, and the whole FDA thing is a huge problem too.

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This is DExM here. Since Fluffy is swamped with work, we've decided to help by catching him up on his list of reviews. I, sadly, got the task of reviewing Left 4 Dead. It isn't that I don't like the game, but shooters (much less zombie-survival shooters) have never been a series of which I have been a fan of. In fact, it is the type of game that Fluffy really likes. Me getting stuck with it confuses me but since I have no choice in this matter, I'll go ahead and review it.

Made by the same developer as Portal, the Valve company put together another well designed game, this being Left 4 Dead. In fact, the entire game itself looks really good despite the fact I am stuck seeing blood, guts, and dead corpses all over the place. I don't have the graphics set very high at all and I find that it looks rather amazing. I guess if you want a game with good quality and a somewhat interesting game play, Valve appears to be the developers that can pull it off without any problem.

However, as most of us at Silver Studios feel, graphics and game play can only take a game so far. In fact, game play is the most important factor, but a decent plot is what makes the second most important thing... maybe after customization. Sadly, this game possesses neither a real plot nor the ability to really customize anything unless you have a whole bunch of cheats with which to make random things appear like buses, news vans, and staircases to make a giant tower to protect yourself from hordes of zombies. You can say the plot is that you and three friends are trying to survive another zombie holocaust but there are a lot of questions that come up as I play this game. How did this zombie holocaust even happen? How did these four individuals find each other in the first place? It is obvious there are other survivors or that helicopter at the end wouldn't be able to save you so where are other survivors at? How did some of the zombies mutate to the point where they were more powerful or at special abilities that transcended the regular zombies? You can say that none of these things are important, but I feel like I have to ask these kinds of things in order to make sense of it all. I didn't like Resident Evil at all, but at least there was a reason everything happened. A virus got loose, infected people, and some got it worse than others, which is why what happened had happened.

Okay. I read a little more about the game. Apparently the enemies are not actually zombies (whatever). Instead, they are living people who are infected with some kind of bullshit rabies-like disease that still isn't fully explained. Nonetheless, I'm moving on from the logical point of this argument.

You are given a various assortment of guns but there are only a few that are worth even carrying. The automatic guns are useful because they can help those with poor aim get more shots out, and thus, do more killing. Pistols are apparently effective if you are good at getting headshots. Beyond that, the pipe-bombs that attract zombies (infected) and then blows them all up is my favorite because it does more damage and is more useful. Plus, I find explosives to be a better weapon to rely on than guns.

A feature I haven't tried, and only heard about, is the ability to do VS mode and play as one of the zombie (infected) bosses. This means you can play as a fat zombie (infected), tank zombie (infected), ninja zombie (infected), and a zombie (infected) with a freakishly long tongue that explodes into a puff of smoke. It sounds promising but then there is the respawn problem of having to wait and the other problem of it being that you as a zombie (infected) have to get up close and beat down the gun-wielding heroes while being shot and blown up.

Overall, this is a fun game that I suppose can kill a couple hours and a few waves of zombies (infected). It is similar to the game Painkiller (which I believe Fluffy reviewed) where it truly serves no higher purpose than to give you an excuse to blow mutated zombie (infected) shit up for a short amount of time. No plot, no strings attached, and just a lot of deathly fun. That's all for me this week. See ya next time.

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This is Silver, once again, to do another review to help catch Fluffy up on all his work. Luckily, it is a slow news week, so we have plenty of room for these reviews. A lot of things in my life, lately, have been either going slow or come to a complete stop. In order to fill that void of nothingness with something fulfilling, I went to the website, Hulu, in order to watch some random shows. One show, in particular, has caught my attention. Arrested Development is an old show that has been off the air for a while now, but it is something worth watching and, in this case, worth reviewing.

The series is, to summarize as best as possible, about a family who loses everything when their company goes through various issues dealing with corruption, treason, and probably several other ridiculous things I may have missed. Even the characters of this seemingly ridiculous plot have something to offer. You have characters ranging from confused cousins who seem to be infatuated with each other, but are not biologically related, to magicians who lack any skill at being a magician. Throughout the entire series, the plot can become muddled and complex, but, at the same time, be simple to follow because everything seems to connect to an older episode at one point or another.

It is a shame this series was pulled off the air when it was. I feel bad for now just getting into it and the series has so much to offer in the way of being hilarious and unpredictable. Comedy has come a long way and yet the big networks fail to allow good shows like Arrested Development to come out more often. The same people who made Arrested Development are also creating a new show, called Shut up and Sit down. I might have to check that out and see how f*cked up it is compared to Arrested Development because I doubt anything could outdo what that show did.

Oh well. I'm almost done with the series. If I could recommend any comedy series, I'd say Arrested Development is a good one to watch. You have to start from the beginning in order to make sense of everything. Do I hate anything about it? I guess the fact that it seems short in both length of an episode as well as length of a series, but that is outside the control of the writers and more of a network thing. So, this show isn't perfect, but it is extremely good for what it is and I think it is foolish to not want to watch it.

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I'm behind on reviews and everyone is giving me a hand with them. Call me lazy if you want but when the rant is down for weeks at a time and I don't have a weekly output for them, the reviews will start piling up and getting behind is no longer my fault entirely but Silver's for not getting a rant started. Course, I could blame his recent distractions if I want to since that is what made us run behind, but it was his fault he was distracted so I still blame him. I could also blame his recent distractions for why he is so depressed right now, but again, it is his own fault, so I blame him. Ha! Ha! Ha!

If you think that was mean, wait until I rip into Angels and Demons. It is a story about Tom Hanks (using a different name, obviously, that I cannot remember nor do I care). Tom Hanks is upset he can't get into the Catholic church's secret library which probably holds all their documents proving they actually worship Satan. Anyway, a threat and kidnapping of some of the cardinals of the church occurs and is it Tom Hanks to the rescue with his clues in various artworks that are somehow intertwined with the backwards religion itself.

I'm sure if I read the book before watching the movie, I'd have a better understanding of the events. I'd be more disappointed in the movie, and I'm sure that I would have reviewed the book more than the movie. However I didn't and can't so I won't. (if that made any sense). This, however, was an okay movie. For the most part, it was predictable up until the final scene where you find out who the actual mastermind behind the whole plot is. That made me confused because I didn't understand what he really wanted. I didn't see a point in anything he was doing to be honest, but then again, this is a whole Catholic-thing and I never understood those backwards people to begin with.

Another thing that annoyed me was the incorporation of the four elements with the supposed "mystery fifth element". Wasn't there a movie already like that? Hasn't a plot involving the elements in this manner been done to death? Why are we just recycling ideas now? I get that after so many good ideas, we're bound to repeat ourselves but this just seems depressing. It's like how Valve continuously makes games with a similar element of escaping something. In Portal it was to escape a laboratory run by an malfunctioning, psychotic AI. In Left 4 Dead it was an escape from a city full of zombie (infected) monsters. In Half-Life, apparently, you were to escape another thing for another reason and... ARGH! It just seems like we come up with one good idea anymore and just stick to with without realizing that we need to shake things up a little bit. Sooner or later, Valve will release something that isn't just running from our problems. Sooner or later we'll have a summer where the four elements don't play a part in some random movie, game, or book. I mean, look at Zelda. It seems every game; there is some kind of temple theme where every temple is an element of some kind. Does it always have to be an elemental temple? Why not just a temple based around a god of the Hyrule area? Why not a temple for the area? I get elements are easy and fun, but it is old news that is becoming older.

I'm nitpicking, I know, but when a movie was good enough to get my approval it becomes a lot harder to poke fun of it. This is definitely better than Wolverine though. Even if the plot is predictable, it at least has one where as Wolverine, did not.